Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I have been depressed since middle school. I am 32. I've given up. I think about suicide every day, the various, in depth, very graphic ways to kill myself. No, I won't call 911 and will lie through my teeth to avoid ever returning to a shitty psych ward or hospital again, ever. I've been there too many times and I won't go back. I have been on lithium, lamital, abilify, celexa, paxil, effexor, welbutrin, lexapro, labi-whatever, and many more. Yes, I currently see a psychiatrist, a therapist, and a social worker. I have ECT scheduled for next month. I have called the suicide hotline about a million times, today they sent me here but I doubt any of you have a fix other than to call 911 which I won't, death seems like a much better option. I have NO friends or family that live within 400 miles of me. I live alone. I don't care about anyone or anything, life is INCREDIBLY boring and I generally don't give a shit. I dont have any interests and I'm tired of being told to exercise but it does NOTHING but makes me miserable. The only thing I fear is there will be people I hardly know who will show up to my funeral and pretend to have been my best friends and know all about me and how tragic it was. That's the real tragedy.
I used to fantasize about my last moments, how amazing it would feel as I was dying at my own hands. But are a few moments of elation worth sacrificing everything, even the opportunity for anything to improve?
I have heard this: "If you really knew me, you wouldn't love me".
And " If you knew what was done to me, you wouldn't love me."
And "If you knew what I've done to others, you wouldn't love me."
These statements are all not true. And they all talk about rejection.
Since you don't know me, HopeIsAlwaysWithYou, then these statements are all assumptions about me as well.
I do not reject you, RestlesDreamz, no matter what you may have done, no matter what may have been done to you, and no matter who you are at the very core of yourself. None of that stops me from accepting you. There is nothing that stops me from accepting you no matter what you think that might be. It doesn't.
Rejection and resentment issues are solvable here in this life. You said earlier that you believe that when you die, you are just dead and nothing else. What if your body dies and you still take all your rejection and resentmemt with you beyond death's door? What if you are supposed to find the answers to that rejection and resentment here in this life so it doesn't go with you like a ball and chain around your heart beyond this life?
I have found answers to the deepest rejection, betrayal, and piercing heart pain. I have also overcome my rejection and anger issues and so can you.
What events in your life have caused you to conclude that "life is pointless"?
There are 6 methods of thinking:
1. Facts and information only thinking
2. Feeling orientated thinking
3. Positive thinking
4. Negative, critical thinking
5. Possibility thinking
6. Thinking about different ways to think or view something thinking
What kind of thinking can you work with besides just critical thinking in viewing life?
Life is not pointless, otherwise you and I wouldn't have ever been brought into existence. But because you and I are here--that very fact means there is a point and purpose to our existence even if you haven't found that purpose yet. The fact that you exist is proof that you have a purpose to exist and that your life isn't pointless.
Just because you haven't discovered the purpose for you being here yet doesn't mean there isn't one. There is a purpose for you being in existence and therefore your life isn't pointless.