Flashreturns,
Thank you! I do not see a counselor and I am not on medication. I appreciate your suggestions :)

Hello DS Fam. Hope every is ferling well today! And you're so right depression is a vicious liar it lies to you about everything allies you about your body image about who loves you who doesn't who care for what you wanna do what you wanna eat if you wanna work out telling you you're miserable you're worth ship consilii consilii line vicious circle vicious cycle and I know that most of us are going through it and it's terrible and a people that don't go through it all there's so lucky but they just don't understand what it's like being us and that makes it so much harder dealing people around you that can relate to what you're dealing with a dishonor stand the severity of the of your symptoms and how it affects almost every aspect of your life. I just wish we could go somewhere, like I'm saving up to go on a retreat or some type of camp for boot camp just something. I need to get the hell away. I maybe need some ditection, guidance and dicipline. Just somebody giving me some discipline and motivating me to do things I don't feel like doing. I don't know I need something. I'm save money to go. I've even been looking into CBD oil which is an oil that helps with so many medical problems. It comes from the cannabis and hemp plant but it's not the active ingredient so it just might make you feel better but it doesn't get you high, so I've been looking into that. The best one to get online. Doing my research. go somewheretake something that would I need something to make things so much more manageable because I've been on every medication. I've done so many techniques and classes and therapy and you name it. I just got done doing ECT treatments. Which is the thing people don't wanna do the most but I was the one who suggested it to my doctor because I don't think I'd be here today talking if I didn't go through ECT. But it's brutal and even I feel I don't wanna go through that all over again. It's a pain in the ass. It does work for some but then I hear others say it works for a short time in the depression, and it just returns like usual. But anyway, just know we're all dealing with some shit you're not the only one and I hope that something made you smile today and that you attempted to have a good day. I can't say the same I may have smiled a little bit from watching a movie or a show I saw but, overall I fell like it was a real fuckin shit day and of course the rain doesn't help. The rain always makes me feel more miserable and I't sometimes triggers the depression but anyway, I hope you're doing well. Enjoy your day or night! Hugs!!

Thank you very much for everything you said! I’m still letting small things upset me, such as when my messages are ignored but the person is online, for example. I feel like I’ve done something wrong to be ignored and I need to stop letting it bother me. Have a pleasant day as well! :)

You are loved, wanted and cared about depression tells us lies and you can be strong enough to prove it wrong, you are beautiful and brave and the fact that you are here, whilst consumed by your struggles and darkness shows that there is light, we are here, pm me if you ever want to chat. X

Mjay13, you’re so sweet, thank you so much.

I am so sorry you feel that way,and I know we have all like that sometimes,but never give up on you're self. You are worth it,God maxed all of us,you are special we are all to God,he loves us all,no matter what we do,or say,try to pick your self up take a walk enjoy simple things we take for granted,we are all blessing,pray ask God to help you,pray,read the bible,God I'd allway around us too. He God loves you,,so try to love yourself,cause you're family friends love you too. Never forget that. God loves us,you

Tere1313,
Thank you so much for reassuring me of my worth. I do need to connect with God more and remember I’m here for a reason.

LOTS of people telling you the truth and care about you. At 21, you have barely started living life. There are so many things that will come to you... And practically none of them are predictable. CERTAINLY many will be good things.

Harming yourself now would be a horrible mistake. You have had a rough start, but that can be overcome ... many have overcome much more and found happiness beyond their greatest hopes.

I am urging you to 'stay the course' and look forward more than rearward. The past is done. All your 'magic' lies ahead. Make tomorrow a good day.. however you choose ... but with care, of course.

Thank you so much WanderingVet. Everyone’s words mean so much to me. I’m learning to remember that there’s hope for the future and I can overcome anything <3

You GOT IT! The past is to laugh at. The future is to smile at.

I’m sorry you’re at an extreme low... I lost friends in middle school, an overall crappy part of life with friends. I have no friends today. I’m also a lonely introvert. I’m alive because I have 3 chihuahua/mix dogs who hate everyone except my husband and myself.. I have a supportive and loving husband, but no good relationship with my family. My mother died last November and she was the glue that held the family together. Now that she’s gone, I see my family members true selves. I’m 55, and was suicidal when I was younger. I would think of one thing to live for, my dogs need me. So I always made sure I had atleast one. The other thing that would prevent me from taking my own life was faith that wouldn’t allow me to be in a loving secure place in the afterlife. I sometimes throw my hands up and use the expression “Jesus, take the wheel” .. under my breath I say to myself “but please take the blind fold off”
I’m still hanging on... some days barely. But your story helps me and others feel normal. We are here for you.. hope tomorrow gets a little easier. Or the next day.

2Be, I am sorry you have gone through all of those things. I’m glad you’re hanging on. Your message would not have helped me if you weren’t here today, and same to everyone else on here <3 thank you for making me feel normal as well.

hello daffodil7, I noticed that you replied to my anxiety post and I want to thank you for offering advice on my job hunting fiasco. I could tell that we have a lot of things in common because I to feel the things that you are feeling at times. If you need someone to talk to, you can reach out to me and private message me. We can try to overcome these horrific feelings together. Find some strength from within and do things that will help get your mind away from these thoughts. Take care and talk to you soon! :)

gv14

You’re welcome, and thank you very much for your kind words as well! It is comforting to know that we have similarities and that we’re dealing with similar situations. Thank you, I have been feeling better and more hopeful lately. Feel free to message me anytime as well! Likewise! :)