Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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I’m honestly completely ruined and exhausted

anon171
anon171

Honestly, it’s just been building for the past 2 years from my current situation that I can no longer contribute anything to society. I recently lost full function of my left leg, lost partial function of my right leg and the rest of my left side. It’s temporary and will improve with rehab (I had a migraine which has caused a mismatch in messages). 


For the past 6 months I’ve been prescribed 10mg oxycodone for chronic and severe pain. I don’t use it everyday, perhaps 9 days out of every month if that. I avoid it as much as possible. I don’t get side effects or withdraws which is extremely beneficial to me.



But having all this oxycodone available to me, being in a situation where I genuinely cannot contribute anything to society anymore on top of the other medical problems I’ve been having.. I just honestly want to OD. I’ve never felt so serious on having absolutely no purpose of function in anyone else’s life. I just honestly have nothing to go on anymore and the only thing that makes me sad about the idea of it is my dog will never know what happened and why I never came home. 


That legitimately the only thing I’m comcerned about at this point. 


I can’t go see my doctor because I cannot drive. I can’t go see my psychologist or youth centre. I don’t have the contact details to my at-home nurse (who comes once every fortnight to asses my respiratory condition.) 



I honestly don’t want to be here anymore. I’ve never felt so sure that I’m completely finished with everything. 



I’m just a burden on the people around me and tax payer’s money at this point. I honestly can see absolutely 0 reason for me not to just OD. 

SimpsonsOK
SimpsonsOK
Anon, I was there the first half of this year. A cast due to foot, ankle, lower leg injuries (right leg) the first four months; out of it 2 weeks using an ankle support, then broke a toe on the other foot. Also have a number of other medical issues. During some of that time, I also felt useless and isolated. None of what I had planned to do could be done; just home and looking at it. I began reminding myself that this was temporary. That helped a great deal. You will have rehab and be useful again. You will be able to help those who are helping you. This is their choice. Comforting hugs.
LettGoBreathe
LettGoBreathe
Depression sucks whether it's chemical or situational. You're not alone ❤️. Maybe try a hobby... I read about a man who did 1 drawing a day for 1 year and at the end he was an amazing artist. Find sometbing to fill your time besides thinking.
volcano63
volcano63
I'm sorry for what you're going through. I think we've all been where you are. I like the idea of finding a hobby, something to keep you from brooding. Hugs.
bethelbee
bethelbee
Just the fact you are reaching out is a big step! You said your situation is temporary and with rehab you will regain function. I was an Occupational Therapist and saw many patients regain function after having very little following an illnes or accident.
I was hospitalized a few times last year for severe depression with suicide ideation. One thing that kept me from proceeding was how it would impact my Dad, who was elderly, and what it would do to him. the other thing that kept me from going through with a plan was worrying what would happen to my cats.
I know it's easier said than done but try to be patient(I know, VERY hard right now). Best of luck with your rehab and keep us posted. Many hugs!!!!
cottontail
cottontail
Thinking of you, I wish that I could help but just wanted you to know that you are not alone. keep strong, you have come through so much don't let it beat you.
anon171
anon171
I’ve spent most of my time in the past 2 years in hospital. Not only that but my partner barely visited me, my parents never stopped talking about how much of an inconvenience it was. I was in ICU 7 times so far between this and last year. I don’t really see a point of continuing with a chronic condition causing this. And being such a burden on the people around me
looney1
looney1
If I'm honest its only my dog and lack of means that keeps me from it too. But if I stop and think I realise I have felt this way many times before and things did eventually get better and I'm sure they will for you too. Keep focused on your recovery and planning a good future once things are better. I don't know if I should mention this but I got told a couple of days ago about a man I knew from my home town who is now in hospital with brain damage and dementia after a suicide attempt so that makes me think twice too.
This is a good time to spoil yourself and catch up on good books, netflix, crafts or whatever else makes you feel good. Good luck