Maybe when you quit judging yourself (ugly, skinny, unattractive), you will realize that others dont judge you either. Just a thought...

You can google 18 worksheets There is a whole website about self esteem and I am going to start reading and printing and working on my self esteem. You know that not every one hates you, it is just a negative feeling. Every day try to write one or more things down that is good about you and that you are thankful for. A lot of people are single at 30. If that is a picture of you you are cute, not ugly. If you are lacking in one area maybe you can improve in another area.. Take small step every day, listen to motivational speakers, Jay Shetty and Will smith have some things on face book and or you tube. Also drybar comedy on facebook will make you laugh. This is just depression and not reality that people don't like you. you don't like you. you can fix that. I will be praying for you.

I was trying to say google 18 worksheets for self esteem. And I feel the same but I am fat and ugly. But I know these are not rational thoughts. if you really look around not everyone is movie star beautiful, maybe you should stop comparing yourself to others and just learn to love yourself.

By the looks of your profile, i do not consider you ugly, skinny or unatrractive. You look quite average.

However, the scowl on your face would deter me from approaching you. Your facial expression says "leave me the fuck alone".

Are the only people that you value in your life pretty?

Probably not.

Hello Ajan
Is this your profile picture? You are not at all ugly. I think a lot of people dont like themselves. You need to learn to love yourself for who you are.

Major self esteem problem. Get yourself some professional help. Your profile indicates a specific addiction. That addiction is a DEPRESSANT. It is completely UNREALISTIC and I believe that is part of your problem.

Hi ajan88,
Why do you have to be smart? Why do you have to be attractive like other guys? If you are not burdened by chronic illness and can do many things, you are probably physically fit. Why do you have to be muscular? I think your mind has been filled by the ridiculous values that Hollywood and media peddle to everyone. They have all the money and we are stuck with unrealistic fantasies and desires. If you keep believing that you should be this and you should be that, you are already defeating yourself. Mean people are always around us, do not let it get into you if they stare, judge, label because you are becoming one of them when you accept their lies, that is, being mean to yourself.

Put aside the desire for a gf for now. If you can learn to enjoy your life even if you are by yourself, things will get better. It might seem odd, but if you can appreciate your life even while all by yourself, you are laying a foundation of being happy. Don’t stress too much on what others think. You need to have fun first being by yourself. Learn to enjoy and appreciate your family. Go to the library, museum, even movies by yourself (I did that). If you see couples or people staring at you, ignore them for now. Your goal is you, happiness for you. When you start to have a positive disposition about life, people will notice because it will naturally spill out.

You can also consider going to a nearby church and talk to a pastor. Ask him about your true value as a person, as a human being. I am not suggesting that you attend there regularly, but that would be good, only to set your mind straight on what is truly valuable. There are many helpful and caring people in churches today, especially the evangelical ones. I hope that all the advice everyone has given here will help you start to appreciate yourself. Have a nice day, my friend.

You are not ugly, or skinny. I don't even know you.. but I know that you are WoRTHY. YOU are IMPORtANT. even if you don't feel like it.. you are.

There are good and loving people who are atheists too. Just saying. (I know, I raised two very good ones.)

Whatever your religion is or isn't...you belong. Life has value...because it does.

For 30some years I was suicidal and felt like sh*t too. I KNOW how hard it is. I do. NO one was lining up to date me either.

But I still found someone. They weren't perfect either. And we got two good kids out of it.

You never know what tomorrow will bring...unless you give it a chance.

Heartfelt hugs, Patti

I'll be praying for you too. Feel better.

if you are able can you volunteer within your community? why do i say this? because sometimes we all need to get outside of our own heads.

if you were sitting here right now i would ask you to please stop self bullying. negative head talk is bringing you down. you get these ideas and then you repeat them over and over again. you are perfectly designed.

if we feel we weigh too much or too little these are things that can be somewhat changed via food intake or physical exercise...... if there are things that you want to change and can in simple ways then make a plan. find a way to make that plan begin to happen.

instead of self bullying i want to ask you to be kind to you.......yes, kind. come up with several nice things to tell. yourself.......this doesn't make you arrogant or conceited, it means that you are going to nurture yourself in positive ways.

what you may think of as too skinny or too tall or too anything can be all twirly in your brain........all of my sisters are married to tall skinny dark haired men with brown eyes.......so i have to think that there are a lot of women who would be drawn to your external looks.

there are men i've met who i may think are very good looking, but they are not good on the inside......within a very short period of time they drop from handsome to cocky.......to someone i don't even want to be pals with.

it's important to make friends with yourself, to want the best for yourself and to believe in yourself. self confidence is very appealing to others.

i don't know much about. you, but i do know this, negative thoughts can create a negative reality. we can talk ourselves into believing the worst about ourselves. when i became severely ill i told myself i was worthless, useless.....and so many things that were worse. i stepped on my heart and head harder than anyone else.......because i felt so low, so sad, so devastated by my medical prognosis.

but i didn't want that to be my life or my legacy, so i began changing what i said, thought, read, who i hung out with.........i brought positive into my daily thoughts, words and deeds.

one of the reasons i wondered if you could give of yourself in a volunteering capacity is because if you want to get out of. your own head you can help others and. yourself by giving of your time and energy.

you can also be a part of a group that. cares about their community ....and does it actively by giving their own time to others. the idea that spending time with others takes your life into an atmosphere where people care about each other. that you have something to give, that you are creating value ....that you are doing something else besides living in a negative hurtful space.

if this is depression you may need help via therapy......if your anger has turned into a feeling that you are too low to help anyone, then please let me encourage you to help yourself first then turn towards helping others.

grab a lifeline and make a plan. imagine yourself one, then three, then six months down the road because you are making positive changes for. the life you want. for the life you deserve.........

i am really sick today and in a struggling place.......but your words hit me and i had to respond. you are precious, you can have a better life than your words are telling. you.........can make changes. you are worth goals that will help you create a good, best, better life.........

if i's ok i'd like to pray for you.........take good care. baby steps.

I did not mean to imply anything regarding atheists, patty22, I hope I did not offend anyone with my post. I was just talking about what I experienced and what I know. I have many friends and relatives who are atheists and very decent. It just happened that the help and care that I witnessed came from evangelical Christians. And you can find all kinds of moral people in whatever faith or religion or mindset. I just happen to meet these people who seemed extra motivated to go out of their way to offer some kind of help and hopefully, ajan88 would as well.

@Ajan, can I ask what country you're living in? Are you Indian?

One of my son's good friends is an Indian raised in the United States, and is dealing with discrimination based on his looks.

My son's great-grandparents came to this country from Syria and my son has the Syrian middle name of his father, grandfather, great-grandfather, and so on. On an overseas trip this past summer, the two boys were the two out of the group that got pulled over for more "random screening".