Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I don't know what my problem is. I had so much to do today and ended up coming home and falling asleep. I had really wanted to go hiking and clean my bathroom, and then maybe do something this evening, but for some reason got off on a tangent and was stuck in a loop of negative and obsessive thoughts all day. I don't know what the heck my problem is. I started obsessing about some missing text messages and going into a loop of crazy thoughts. I then got frustrated with customer service because I was trying to figure out how to retrieve these lost texts. The customer service rep started calling me back every fifteen minutes to see if I got it resolved. I was very frustrated with this and told her on the sixth call to stop it.
This drained me so I lay down and took a nap. This did help me to feel better. Then, I forced myself to eat. I have not been to the grocery store in a week and there is almost zero food in the house. I just don't understand why I am starting to spiral or am getting into an episode of depression. I'm having a very hard time.
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
Started taking Red Yeast Rice for really high cholesterol and the pharmacist warned me that it can cause rhabdo, and that if you've had it in the past, there is a likelihood that you can get it again. I get severe cramping in my legs and hands and abs in the middle of the night and it keeps me up during the night. The other cause could be a steep drop in calcium after having my thyroid surgery. The pain is very intense. My calcium was normal the last time they checked, but labs and bloodwork status changes. I do feel better when I take calcium supplements. But, I also have to keep in mind that severe muscle pain and weakness can come from rhabdo as well, so I've paused on taking the Red Yeast Rice for a bit.
Also, I might need to look at changing this seroquel as it can cause high cholesterol and other side effects. I'm open to making a change, but not while I'm working and under stress. That is too much change and instability. I might do that when I am on vacation from work. I feel like every time I make a medication change, it throws everything off, so I want to be relatively stable before I do that. I don't want to stop a med that helps me sleep and control anxiety when I'm under a high amount of stress. Last time I decided to 'just go off of medication,' it was a disaster. I'm going to wait until the timing is better-even if there are some side effects.
You are right-we are conditioned to have to be doing something all of the time. Truth is, there is so much to be done and it's a lot while working, but it does seem this culture (United States) is anti-rest and vacation.
Sorry for the huge letter, but thanks for the encouragement.
It's great that you are on top of your health and medications!
I replied to your other post, and I was just wondering if you would want to see your psychiatrist about the Seroquel, since your cardiologist suggested maybe going off it (??). (Not sure if that is what the cardiologist said exactly). But, Seroquel can definitely cause sleepiness.
Just seeing the psychiatrist now, doesn't mean you have to stop any medications right now. But you could find out how to decrease it (titrate) slowly, if that is what they recommend. And then you would know ahead of time how you will do this (even if it's not until summer starts).
I hope you would consider going to an appointment. Seroquel has some other big side effects (drowsiness, tiredness, weight gain, dizziness, all kinds of joint pain) and so if you find out what the "plan" is for going off it, or maybe switching to a different drug.... at least you will know what is coming up and what the plan is.
I think stopping it completely on your own, without a doctor's supervision, is not good, as the side effects can be too much. I know what you mean, there are anxiety medications I take now, that I wish I could just Stop, and right now! But, I check with my psychiatrist first, to see how to wean off of it slowly.
You're doing a great job! Keep it up.