Things can and will change and get better, is there anyone you can talk to?

You are in the right place, and writing things out should help you to see things in a more logical manner, although we can not be there physically for you, we are here to support you.

Let us know later how you are feeling, ok?

Welcome to this group. We are glad you reached out here. Sounds like there is a lot of uncertainty and confusion in your life right now. Have you ever spoke with a counselor or therapist? They may be able to help sort through everything going on in your life. One thing I know from dealing with depression is to take everything in bite size pieces. When you look at all the things at once it can be overwhelming, confusing, scary, and actually debilitating. However, if you work on one thing at a time with the help of others, things tend to become clearer. If you would like to share more of what is going on in your life, maybe we can look at one thing at a time. If you feel comfortable sharing and want to pm me. I am happy to listen and chat. I will be praying for you. Hugs and God Bless

I agree. Have you spoken with a counselor before? They can be very helpful. Also this is a good place to journal and we are very accepting here.

0.0 wow I didn't expect the replies to be this quick heh.

Unfortunately no I haven't spoken to a counselor or therapist I'm out in the middle of nowhere with not a lot in my town. (Kinda the reason I ended up here). I've gotten so unmotivated to do hobbies (I can barely play my xbox which is something I always liked doing). I try not to say I'm depressed or have anxiety because I heard just saying that makes it worse. Also back then when they didn't have names for depression or anxiety or things like that so when people got them they just moved on in life. Well that's what I'm just trying to do right now but it's so tiring

I disagree, if you know you have a problem it is easier to sort it if it has a name, I agree its not productive to be obsessed with your illness, but you have to admit you have a problem and resolve to deal with it as best as you can.

People didnt just move on in life they ended up in bad places and there was less support than there is now. I would much rather be alive now in a time where people are more open (not completely by any means) to mental health. It shouldnt just be brushed under the carpet as it makes the stigma worse.

It reminds me of Tony Soprano, big tough guy telling the psychologist why cant he just be one of the big strong silent types just going about his business without depression. If depression worked like that none of us would have it.

Well, here I go again with the same advice. Give your body what it needs to live, don't add to your problems by doing anything stupid, and over time, things will tend to improve. You will be okay. You might even be able to offer a few words of encouragement to others. It's not so much about knowing what to do next as how to navigate the unknown.

thing is I try to ignore things that bother me in life and I try to think of the here and now but I'm always constantly getting flashbacks of how I was rude to people or was insecure and missed out on things because now I just feel like there's nothing left for me in life. Nothing exciting has happened recently and I'm not really looking forward to anything (other than my new job that's on hold for a bit). Before I was happy and always looking forward to something and had unstoppable confidence and was never depressed and just overall happy but after my chain of events. I lost my confidence and happiness on a dime. I've given myself time but I don't want to give myself too much time.

You really need to see someone. I have felt like you have mentioned about unable to find joy in anything and not able to do the simplest things. It is horrible to feel that way and all I knew is I didn't want to go on feeling that way and knew I needed help. Once I saw a doctor and understood it was depression. I went on medication. It took almost a year to find the right one and the right dose. Then with counseling we could get to the root of the problem. There were many things I didn't know about myself that I learned through counseling. There are Crisis hotlines you can call just to have someone to talk to, churches that may have counseling, and online counseling available. I will continue to pray for you and that you will take steps to get professional help. Hugs

well I'm back had to go attend a few things.
Thing's are about the same I guess idk how to get any good "Change" because my life seems to be changing for the worst

TheFlash32- That loss of interest in things you used to enjoy is call Anhedonia, a symptom whereby the patient loses much or all of the ability to experience pleasure. This is VERY common with Major Depressive Disorder. Don't disagree w/any of the suggestions, as this is a more is better situation, but you REALLY need to have an evaluation by a psychiatrist. It's almost certain that you are in the middle of an MDD episode, and will need medication. If you cannot get to a psychiatrist right away, ask you primary care physician to start you on an antidepressants, as these usually require weeks to reach peak efficiency. By all means, talk to SOMEONE- if not a professional, perhaps a clergy member at your church. Remember- doing nothing is NOT an option- that only guarantees continuation of the same thing.

I'd rather not take anymore pills, been there done that and it only made me worse. Not going that route again. Sadly talking to a professional or psychiatrist is just not an option right now I'm in the middle of nowhere.

If you do not know where you are going in this life, then work on reevaluating yourself. Lock down is good because we can use the time to think about what we want and to make life goals, and also build bridges with family members.

Well....now i REALLY don't know where I'm going in life

Fix the laptop, it will not cost a lot to replace the charger port. The internet is beautiful, there are so many different things we can do on it.

It's already fixed (otherwise I wouldn't be typing here) but thanks