Hi Restful, I am sorry to hear that you have lost confidence and self-esteem and that your job is the major contributing factor. I think there is no point working in a place that diminishes your values and your contributions to the workplace. I know that it will be difficult to find employment during this difficult time with the COVID and civil unrest, but if you look outside the box and apply for jobs outside your field, this will give you a break from the mental pressures your employer is causing you.

When we work too long at the same company, people take us for granted and will try to replace us with new blood who is willing to take lower pay. It's not you that your employer is targeting, but it seems to be the trend these days for companies to shed old blood and replace with new fluff. Employers usually create an impossible environment for their old staffs to work in, and induce their workers to resign so to avoid violations of employment laws connected with unfair dismissals.

I have three university degrees but I don't always work in jobs that I qualify for. Variety keeps people motivated and sane. There are desk jobs advertised on websites such as linkedin that only require you to have a computer and technical means to communicate online with your boss. As long as you have basic office skills, you can work in any jobs in a different field.

There is no painless way to die. You will suffer pain, and you will cause pain to your family who will have to pick up the pieces after your demise. Think of your children who will grow up without a father, and your wife who will struggle with the finance whilst raising up your kids as a single mother.

Therapists don't give up on their patients - we are the cash cows for doctors and health professionals. If you think a psychologist is not helping you, fire him and get a new one. With health professionals, they will give their personal opinion at best because there is not much clinical evidence to back up the opinion. I don't like to listen to psychologists' babbles - most of them don't apply to me any way. I feel that I am paying money for someone's pure speculations. Anyhow, that's just my opinion. Perhaps psychologists can help other needy people, but not for me.

I have not given up on you, so hang on and open new doors. My father always said for every door that closed on you, a new one would open for you. Best wishes, and good luck. Marie

Restful, every person contributes one way or another to society including you. Never give up on life. It resolves nothing. Your job does not define who you are. If you don’t like it find something you do like. In order to accept love you need to learn to love yourself for who you are. Is there a way to cope with life? We generally do the best we can any given day even if it’s just getting out of bed. Please don’t be so hard on yourself, ok? What do you like to do? What makes you smile even when you think you can’t? Remember that from our failures comes success. It gives us opportunity to grow and changes til we find ourselves. If you need to talk please call one of the crisis hotlines. They are there to help. I hope that you will give life another chance and find your way to serenity and peace.

Hang in there Restful... you do have a purpose even if you don't feel like you do. You may not know it but you leave an impression on everyone you meet. Every time you smile at someone on the street or hold the door for someone at the market, every time you say hello to a stranger you are leaving an invisible finger print on their lives. Sometimes the things we do that have the biggest impact are the little things we don't even notice.
Try to think about something kind that you did (even if the other person didn't respond or say thank you, it was still an important gesture). Try to think about the small things, the little moments that happen that you don't normally see. Did someone say hello or smile your way? Did someone hold the door for you? Even the smallest positive moments can make a difference in your life. I know that it's hard (sometime it feels impossible) to think about something good that happened (no matter how small) when your feeling so low, but it can be helpful.
I hope things get better for you and you find happiness in your days!

Hi
I have found that work can be such a cruel place. It's hard not to take
it personally but if you're a sensitive person you will feel the pain.
As a person who works in the mental health field I would encourage you to
do two things. First let your therapist know how you feel (I know that this can be hard, but a good therapist will appreciate knowing how you feel). 2. If you do let your therapist know how you feel, and she does not respond in a compassionate way, then I would look for a new therapist (a hard thing to do when you're feeling this way, I know). You could ask your primary care doctor for a referral to see someone else. While you're going through this very difficult time, a good, supportive therapist is really important.

Work can really suck. My job is like that, too. I think it messes with our head a lot when we have a really stressful job. Are you anywhere near retirement? I have a feeling your family might need you more than you know. I don't know though, but I think your kids need their dad.
Sorry you are feeling so bad.

Thank you all for being so supportive and kind. I have decided to take a leave of absence from work to focus on some sideline things I’ve been working on.