people always tell me i have so much ahead of me and its so worth living, i didnt believe it one bit.i have been in a psych ward 7 times, sectioned 4 times for very serious suicide attempts and self harm, i didnt believe life was ever going to feel even a tiny bit ok. i was sectioned for 7 weeks back in january, thats only like 4 months ago i got out...... and very slowly life is getting better and seeming like it is a tiny bit worth living. now if i can go from standing on top of mutil story car park roof edges, overdosing and cutting veins to actually feeling a teeny tiny ok about life then anyone can. please dont ever give up.

I am so frustrated that I can't see what everyone else sees! Giving up seems so much easier. I'm just so tired; I want to tell everyone to go ahead w/o me; don't look back - I just need to rest...

i know, ive felt the exact same feelings for the last 5 years and i could never believe it could be any different but if u keeping going and keep trying it will get better. lets face it,it cant feek much worse.

I think it can be frustrating too, but I don't think it has anything to do (in general) with at all invalidating the pain you're experiencing. I don't believe that I have had someone tell me this before as a value judgment either.

Instead, it's a purely logical statement. If you weigh the odds of experiencing happiness/rest alive vs. dead, there's a resounding solution: dead = nothing, not happy or at peace, just nothingness, and no chance for any good experiences, ever, ever again. Alive = always a chance, no matter what depression tells us, that we will find happiness again.

I am very grateful to agree with opal on this one in saying I spent many years very close to an edge, never believing I would experience any form of relief. Now there are people in my life whom I can't imagine existing without. Had I offed myself I never would have had the chance to experience the incredible joy, pride, sense of achievement, challenges, and peace that I have since declining to make said decision.

I believe that's why people (who are informed) will say "you have so much to live for" and "life is worth living..." Because there exist success stories where they never imagined they'd find one. The odds are in your favor.

*Hugs* Please hang in there, mal66. I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated and angry. I hope posting here helped at least a little?

Elle,
Yes, it is great hearing other's viewpoints via similar experiences from those going thru it to those who've gone thru it...
Depression has been my 'side-kick' all my life. I've never experienced EXTENDED happiness and never had true peace of mind. Giving 'life' a chance is very frightening for me; not sure if this makes any sense. I just don't have a sense/concept of life's value and this all seems like a crap shoot...

Wow you took the thoughts right outta my f'ed up brain! I like the way you stated this thought/feeling/belief - it's exactly what I feel every day watching "happy" and successful people enjoy everything life has to offer while I die inside more every day.
One of my favorite quotes is by Albert Schweitzer; "The tragedy of life is not that a man dies; the tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives."

Wow i feel ya im so angry and frustrated with having this chronic depression and it never goes away. Life is worth living for people who dont suffer this inner pain daily. I jus say F*** the world cause living like this sucks. I wish the Lord to take me home already so i dont have to endure this pain anymore but the more i want that the more i stay here to suffer. I stick around for familly although i dont think i have the balls to take myself out of my misery. All I can is say is take each day as it comes and i pray it gets better for you.

it seems to me ppl should be able to have the choice. it is your own body. why should you live the way other ppl think you should? live for this or that reason? don't they think you allready thought all of that? it is not a easy decision taken out of a whim. not because you had a bad day or a crappy week. is is much deeper than that. most ppl who say those things never been through it. i know they have good intensions you get tired of hearing it. what happened to freedom of choice.? you just have to suffer the consequences. good or bad.

I also hate it when ppl tell me that...I mean i know life can be beautiful and everything, it;s not like i refuse to see its beauty..these people make me feel as if i were guilty for my depression...how frustrating!

I don't mean to repeat myself, but I genuinely don't think anyone who knows what they're talking about means that statement in an evaluative or invalidating way. But then again, if it's said by someone who has no idea what you've been through, why would you listen to them anyway, no matter what they had to say about it?

This discussion is often unearthed and rehashed in a place like this. It's inevitable. But the resounding reality is that a decision made while mentally ill is not a decision to be trusted. If only the decision-making organ and the home of the illness were separate - but they aren't. To listen to depression or to allow ourselves to make serious decisions like this under its demented influence makes no sense. THAT is why people will argue against it.

No one is taking your pain lightly, or suggesting that you haven't thought it through enough. I'm sure you all have (and I know I have, too). But we all know that depression lies to us: we cry when we "should" be happy, we imagine slights by friends, and we fear the absolute worst in every situation available. Not because we choose to, by any means, but because depression is a mental illness, and it affects our perceptions, switches our emotions about at whim, and warps our rationale. This is a worrisome combination enough on its own; add in a life-or-death decision, and the result will always be the one we wouldn't make if we were standing on the outside, looking in. I can guarantee it.

Even in trying to help people can be judgemental and sometimes it seems like they're downright callus. For those that have not ever experienced depression or another illness well they just don't understand. I've probably lived with depression for better than 30 years. 14 of those years were diagnosed.I just thought the pain was what everybody felt.Those early days were never the darkest. I am glad I didn't choose the "easy way". The odds are now in my favor that I will get to know the joy of being a grandparent.I was also literally there to help save a neighbor,s life. I still have dark days but I know it can and will be temporary.

Overall my life has been worth living. I believe it can be so for all folks excluding those with terminal diseases. Anyway to me all human life is precious especially the poor souls that have suffered like me. If you can try to hang in there, I'll try really hard to be there for you. No one should have to suffer alone. All my best to you. ((( Gentle Healing Hugs )))

I am having an EXTREMELY hard time having a positive outlook on most days. It feels I am in the midst of a cat4 storm and the forcast is upgrading it to a 5...I am hanging on for dear life (literally) hoping my meds will kick in (just started on a new med) and also soliciting prayers (for miracles) from everyone closest around me. This depression is my evil simiese twin whom I've had all my life. We share one brain, one heart...I feel the only way to defeat it is to throw it and myself off a cliff...