That used to happen a lot to me, and less so, now that I am in my 40's,but it still happens too much, and it's a major reason why I don't go places. I even stopped going to the non denominational church I used to go to, because I was hit on heavily by a friend's husband, and not only was I nit interested, but it was especially rude, because I am married. The especially difficult thing , for me is.... I do also have a history of sexual abuse and rape. So I really, really, really avoid people, especially men, and I don't even care that I am getting fat, because I want men to not see me, and leave me alone. It makes me feel bad about myself, in terms of confidence, because I don't want to dress up anymore, or go anywhere, and just stay home and get old and fat. I worry it will cause my husband to want to leave me. I hate how superficial the world is. I hate how people only think others matter, if they are attractive, or financially successful. I am disappointed with people in general, and especially men, because of my personal experiences being raped and abused by someone who was my teacher, who was supposed to care about my well being, but only used me. I am tired of being used, and people not taking the time to find out, or even care, that I am a good person. Doesn't that matter, any more? You can always sabotage your appearance, as I do, but I don't recommend that kind of self destructive behavior, even though I do it. I also just stay home, a lot. I hate to tell you this, but the world is not going to change for you. All you can do is be grateful that you have been given an attractive appearance, and that not all people are shallow and frightening. Appreciate the people who don't see you or judge you according to your image, alone, and know that one day you will finally be old, and other people will stop paying so much attention to you, in such a superficial and sometimes scary way. I am actually grateful that time is coming, for me. I look forward to going for a walk, and feeling safer... Invisible... As an old woman. Finally, it's just as horrible to be given lots of attention for not being attractive enough, or the 'wrong' race. I think most of humanity suffers with similar issues, of feeling inappropriately judged or unsafe, just according to the way they look, at some point. We have that in common, more than we realize. I am sorry we can't just all be seen for who we are on the inside, as it truly matters so much more than what's in the outside. The world we live in is backwards, when it comes to the things that truly matter. I know this probably isn't what you want to hear, but the reality is: if you don't want people to judge yiu the wrong way, sometimes it really is better to avoid people. Then again, I am an extremely avoidant person, and this causes me to feel very anxious and depressed. Still, I feel even worse, around people... Especially after I was raped... I just take comfort in getting old. Maybe you will feel that way too, one day. And be grateful that not *everyone*sees you only as a body, to be used. Who says we need lots of friends and relationships? I feel lucky to have a husband and children who see the real me, even with my many faults, and love me... I would sometimes like to have some friends who understand my battle with anxiety /depression... Because it is hard to be friends with people who don't understand that, because I feel like a loser, in comparison, and eventually, I think they'll see me that way, too. I am not the best person to give a self esteem pep talk, especially today, because I am feeling pretty depressed at how a recent social engagement I attended, went for me. It just kind of validated why I don't luje being around people... Because so many of them are shallow and mean and narcissistic types who just want to use others. But anyway, just trust your own judgment, and go slow, and use your boundaries, and don't close yourself off, from the world. I am trying very hard not to, and I know how hard that can be... But I have spent many years in my house, hiding, and it doesn't make the anxiety or depression go away. So... Get out there, (in a SAFE way), and keep being yourself, and just try to remember that not everyone will see your true worth, but some people will, and those encounters help us continue to grow and thrive. You can't avoid everything scary in life... I know that first hand ... And it's NEVER your fault, when bad people are drawn to you, who might harm you... Just please be safe, and know, from me... I promise, even though these hurtful and upsetting things happen, you can survive it.

Just learn from your experiences, trust your gut, challenge yourself wisely, realize that *no one* feels comfortable *everywhere*, and it's OK to keep it safe.

Life isn't fair. We can't all walk where we want to, and not expect to be bothered...

Just focus on enjoying the experiences where you are able to feel more safe, and free to be yourself.

I appreciate you making this comment, as many people often don't understand how an attractive woman can experience feeling undervalued, used, and hurt by the 'admiration' that is often very shallow, and sometimes dangerous and threatening, from others.

Especially when you are kind, and you don't judge others by their appearance, either, because you reset that shallow minded attitude... Because sometimes people take that as a sign of weakness, and are mkre intent to target you, in an abusive way.

I was raped after I offered water from my sink, to the men doing construction on the road behind my store.

It was 100°, and I was just feeling empathy for them, pouring steaming asphalt, in that weather.

I was taken to be 'flirting' I guess. I was later raped by one of those men.

I am not so friendly, anymore.

And I don't have a store, anymore, or even leave the house much.

But as time goes on, I will become that invisible old lady... Something to look forward to... And to remind myself to not stop working in overcoming my social fears... Because maybe the best is yet to come.

Ive had the same problems as you.. Especially on this site as I rarely go out anymore in fear of inappropriate behavior..
Ive had numerous guys message me on here and I block them immediately.. Its not a dating site.. I don't really know how to stop the behavior but I'm agreeing with you..

I sent a report to the team who runs the site and they flagged the user. So I would recommend doing that and hoping that they don't just keep popping up. Thank you very much. It's hard feeling alone in this.

Women should not be sexually harassed. I came from a home where I was taught that women were to be respected. After my first wife tried to stab me and shoot me, I got involved in Biker gangs and saw women treated like animals. This was not a good time in my life. I even took lumps for protecting some women from some of the bikers. I was also a semi=professional musician and even though, some women hit on me, I never sexually harassed or tried to hit on any women, If they were interested in me, we formed a relationship first.

I have never been aggressive towards women in any way. My son's wife said my son treats her with honor and respect because he learned it from me. I thought that was kind of a nice compliment.

I am sorry men treat you this way, I guess I am from the "old school" and treat people the way I like to be treated.

Yeah. I wish that kind of attitude/awareness would be more wide-spread.