I was hanging out with a group of friends pretty regularly for about two years and I think I'm triggered by the holiday being here again. Last year at this time the group had a holiday party and I was removed from the facebook guest list. It still bugs me. I had just assumed that the party was cancelled as it disappeared from my calendar of events. I was wrong. The following day every. single. person. we hung out with was present at this party, and I knew these people pretty well, in fact we hung out a lot. I was shocked. Really to say the least. To make matters worse there was this guy that I really liked a lot in the group, and we were sorta close and used to hang a lot together. It was his best friend who had had the party and I could not help but feel like I was removed from the guest list because I liked him. It's all speculation and I dont' know. But a couple of friends told me to stop getting together with the group as a whole (I didn't want to throw the baby out wtih the bathwater) there were a lot of people whose company I really enjoyed, but I could not help but feel like it was a big deal because it was the holidays, which is a significant and important time. I was stunned. There were some awkward times, nothing is perfect, but overall I really enjoyed everyones company and felt a part of things. I continued to hang out after that, and ended up dating another guy in the group (who turned out to be married). What a disaster, so I really did not feel like I could go back after that. I didn't know he was married and when I showed up to an event he saw me, turned around and left. It was too much for me. There had been some fights that ensued around this time between some of the people, and I just didn't feel it anymore. I felt like a knife was put in me and I felt terrible. Now I never want to see them again. I still get invited to things but I don't want to anymore. I feel kinda sad and isolated.
I dont know what to do. He gets so mad at me and he hurts me... I know this isnt the place to post this but its not helping my depression.. I dont know how much more i can take. I cant leave, if i leave ill have nothing... but the words he says and the brusises he leaves.. Hes says hes sorry and he wont do it again but that lasts a few months and it happenes again. Last night was the worst. We...