Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
these past few months have been hell. I moved in with my boyfriend and have been looking for jobs since I graduated college. I knew I wouldnt find anything in my field right away so I'm looking for part time work to keep up with the bills. However, the problems started when his family decided to buy me a car. I never asked for it and his mother got a stick shift which I have no idea how to drive. At first I just cringed and said, " its fine its just another learning experience." I thanked them for the car but I havent driven it on my own once since they bought it. I have repeatedly told my boyfriend I need repitition in order to learn. I have asked him to take me out to the country side in the evening after hes off work but so far in the past 3 months I have gone driving a weeks worth.
I have suggested just walking to some places nearby I could work from but my boyfriend is afraid I'll get run over since we live near a major city and it can get hectic. My biggest issue is I have horrible anxiety from driving, I have to have a stuffed animal in my purse whenever I drive and because of this my boyfriend treats me like I'm made of glass. I feel trapped in our house and since my boyfriend has aspergers and adhd he doesnt notice the obvious signs that I'm on edge, not happy and I have to constantly repeat why I'm upset.
It all came to a head when we finally had a chance to go driving but I hadnt slept well so I was zoning in and out. when we finally got out to the open roads I started crying saying " Im sorry but I cant today afterall. I dont think I can stay awake."
I felt so angry at myself and he saw this which prompted him to ask me for the 10th time that day, " are you ok? whats wrong?"
I snapped. I started crying harder and trying to explain to him that it got under my skin how he felt the need to ask the same question over and over and over. It made me feel like he wasnt listening. He then raised his voice and said," fine. Great. So its my fault, I'm just trying to help but I cant do anything right its just my fault."
He has done this everytime he's seen me upset. Its like he gets tunnel vision and refuses to listen to anyone but his own voice. It escelated from there to the point I was screaming at the top of my lungs, " I NEED A JOB! I NEVER WANTED THIS CAR BUT IM STUCK WITH IT AND IM FALLING BEHIND ON MY BILLS! NOW FUCKING TELL ME HOW IN THE FUCKTHATS YOUR FAULT????? WHY ARE YOU GUILTNG ME?" he slammed on the breaks and got out of the car yelling back, " drive yourself home!"
I got out and kept arguing with him to get back in the car. After a while we went home but the whole way back I was bawling and thinking, " you know.....I just missed a great opportunity. I could have just walked away from him, the car, everything and kept walking till my legs gave and I cold die quietly out in the middle of nowhere."
My depression has taken a turn for the worse since I got here, I'm trying so hard to stay sane and get my life going but I'm trapped.
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Hi All.... It's great to see all of the new people joining the site... I'm loving it!!...smileI'm not sure if people are aware that if you don't have Bipolar Disorder but have a loved one who has the disorder we do have a board for people to go to in order to share their experiences and seek friendship, support or adviseIt's the Friends and Family of Bipolar Board.... I hope you'll take a...
It sounds like you both have care for each other but certain stresses really affect you both and can reach a boiling point. It seems the logical conclusion would be to sell the car and use the money to buy an automatic, but logical isn't always life's choice as there may be circumstances unknown to me to doing this.
Could you Uber or Lyft to a possible job close by? or even public transportation until you can purchase your own vehicle? you say you like martial arts, does he? would either of you be interested in Tai-Chi? its a very calming and maybe it (or another activity done together) could help open healthy communication between you and discuss what is best for you both as equals and not be treated like a china doll. Keep us informed and message us if you need help. Hoping for the best for you.
Aggressive behavior
Repetitive motor patterns
Depressive mood
Difficulty in assessing other's feelings and “reading” other people
Inability to perceive gestures
Lack of social awareness
Exaggerated facial expressions usage
Being sensitive to noise, touch, odor or tastes is....
Couple that with ADHD where one tends to have difficulty focusing on things and remembering conversations, etc. and yes, your boyfriend is going to do the same things each time you get upset, because that's the only way he knows to process things, he's going to seem very tunnel visioned, and he's not going to say the exact right things you need to hear or respond the way you need him to when your stressed or upset probably 75% of the time....because his brain does not work that way on that cognitive level.
If you can't accept his limitations, you might want to really consider whether you're in the right relationship.
As for the car, if your going to keep it, you might want to hire an instructor to give you lessons for a week so you can actually use it, and therefore find a job. Otherwise there isn't much sense in keeping it. It'd be better off to explain to his family that you appreciated their gesture of kindness but you just don't think you can comfortably learn how to drive a stick-shift.
Sounds like you've got some things to consider to make sure you're in the best situation for you.
I am motivated to say the relationship will probably not work out. You can easily see how it's not .... from this incident. It will very likely not change. I am sorry.
And as for getting out of the house, are you and your boyfriend doing fun dates or activities together? That may be what you need to shake that stir crazy feeling.
Anyway, I'm really sorry, and I hope this starts getting better for you soon.