Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

24,601 Members
160,807 Posts
1 Online
Mental Health
/ Depression Support Group

I don't know what to do

noelle513
noelle513

I thought that my depression was getting better until this last week I realized that I'm going back into that slump that I was in before. I haven't self-harmed for what I know of as a little over two weeks, which is the longest I've gone since I started again around the end of June. I sometimes get these reoccurring images in my head of me holding a gun to my head. I don't know why, it's not like I'm in a suicidal state when I think about it, it could just be me doing something completely normal or feel slightly low and then I just get this thought of me holding a gun to my head. And the last image was last night and I kept thinking about it in class today about how I would die and who would miss me or care. I don't know why I get these and I don't know if they mean something or what but it worries me. I told my therapist today and she literally told my mom to hide all the guns and she told her that I'm suicidal and I just don't want to bother my parents because then it's just a hassle and I don't think my dad really cares for me going to therapy besides the fact that he occasionally has to take me and he's the one paying for it all. But I don't know what to do about this low and I won't see my therapist for another three or so weeks and she told me to tell someone I trust if I'm having those thoughts again but I don't know who to talk to. Everything is just so stressful right now and I'm not sure what to do.

b_happy
b_happy
I feel it may be a normal thought for people feeling down. I still have thoughts like that even when I've been fine for months on end. Perhaps there's a sense of peace and a thought that everything will stop. It's not the actual case, because everything would still continue around you. You'd only be stopping yourself from becoming the best you that you could be. However, I'm assuming you may be in high school since you were in class thinking about it. I'm 21, and I cannot stress enough how free you begin to feel after high school. Things are still stressful and can get a bit overwhelming, but your horizons expand and the light expands far beyond what a person could even travel. Therapy is also there to help you, so it's like you are doing yourself AND your loved ones a favor. Nobody wants to see their loved ones in misery and odds are at least one of them have been in your shoes. We all have these emotions and even if they can't relate I certainly can. I'm here to tell you it is a beautiful world, you're just stuck in the shade for a moment. When that sun hits you, though, you're going to feel warmth and light and hope like you won't believe. I hope this helps and I hope you never let your mind control you over your heart. :)
jewells1
jewells1
For me it was a big screw turning in my head. I have also had the gun image too, but I have not been suicidal in that moment just extremely irritated or triggered. Mostly there were other pressures going on that I was also juggling. So I stepped away as much as I could from what I could. Other people's drama that I felt too strongly(sympathetically) that would induce feelings on me was one. It was just too draining on my energy. I know everyone wants to be social and a good friend, but splitting your attention when you already have a plate full is not a good thing for you in achieving goals. We feel better when do.
People will come in and out of your life as you grow and they do (or don't). It's also the same for circumstances, every step you make changes them. Step lively.



I am glad to hear your father is supportive of you and that you are seeing a councilor. I use guided imagery, breathing sets, mindfulness and music to help me calm. Nature walks of 30 minutes help too.
There are plenty of videos on you tube that might help. I have used a lot of them over the last three years.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXItOY0sLRY
Onlythelonely
Onlythelonely
When you're having suicidal thoughts, text 741741. Even thinking about suicide is VERY dangerous. Do not take it lightly. It is not normal to dwell on harming or killing yourself. Just hiding the guns in your house isn't helping. That is not going to change what's going on in your head.
sharaninmd
sharaninmd
Do you have a doctor? You should talk to a psychiatrist who may determine that you need medication. If you are already on medication, talk to the doctor about how you are feeling and they may need to make some adjustments to the medication. It might be a good idea to see the therapist more frequently while you are going through this.