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I cancelled my vacation

a.allison
a.allison

My mom and I planned a beautiful trip to Orlando to visit Disney and Harry Potter world in December. These are my favorite places on earth. I go every year and it's all I've thought about since January. It's been years since I was there for the Christmas decorations, parades, and parties.


Tonight I told my mom I was cancelling. I cancelled because I feel too ugly to be in the pictures we would take. I don't want people to see me. I used to talk to this guy when I was 19, I was so stupid but he was older and he was a marine. I took whatever he did to me. Whatever names he called me, whatever he decided to do to me sexually. I finally stopped talking to him, and he's contacted me three years later. I tried to ignore him, I tried to tell him I wanted nothing to do with him. He called me a trashy ass cum dump. He said I was only useful because of my good mouth. He said I was ugly. And now, that's the only thing I can hear about myself. 


I don't want people to have to be subjected to me. 


Disney and Harry Potter world have always been an escape for me. I feel joy there but I've finally been so used up that there's no room for joy. 

kary.aa
kary.aa
Dont listen to him. He's trying to hurt you. He's talking bullshit. Don t let his words keep you from going to your vvacation. There are lots of boys out there and someone as shitty as him doesn't deserve you. Find another guy. There will one better then him. Ignore him. Block him. Go on your vacation. It'll keep your mind off him. Remember this, never let someone determine if you're ugly or not. Call him ugly back. He's not worth it. There's lots of boys out there. You just have to find the right one who treats you like a queen. If you want to cry, cry. You'll feel better after crying it out instead of keeping it in your mind. Trust me. I haven't seen you b4, but everyone can ne good looking and ugly, you just have to find the right way to show how beautiful you really are.
Heidiclark
Heidiclark
Go on your vacation!!!!!!!
scandalousbeauty
scandalousbeauty
I am so sorry for all you have gone through Allison. You aren't all of those things. Letting what this monster did to you and what he said to you define you and change who you are and what you think about yourself feeds into his mind games. It still gives him power over you. You deserve so much more. Honestly you really need this vacation. You need this beautiful magical feeling that Disney brings to life. If it would make you smile and bring you happiness you should go. You should block him and don't let him back into your life. You can come back from this. You can find yourself again. I went through a very similar situation and the damage he did was so severe but with time and lots of therapy his words are disappearing and I am finding my voice again. I hope that you find peace and healing.
TooMuch
TooMuch
Go. Go go go..Hugs!
OlderCPer
OlderCPer
I think you should do 2 things.

1. call the local police or sheriff's department and turn this abusive, trashmouth, asshole in for stalking, abuse, terrorist threats, anything else you can get on him. You deserve far better than any man who acts like/does things like this asshole is doing to you.

2. call your mom and tell her you made a mistake and you do want to go on the vacation. You deserve to go and give yourself a break from all of the meanness and stress and bad in the world. Taking a break, enjoying yourself, giving you the attention you deserve...that's what you should do. Don't let some idiot take that from you.

Take care,
my6katz
my6katz
I know how you feel. I have been there myself with a girl I had dated back in 2011. She was using me to get her pregnant. I said I don't want kids and will never want them. She would lie bout me and she even lied in court about me.

I think you should still go on your vacation and ignore what others think of you. God is the only one that can judge us. I wish you well!!!!
Debbalina
Debbalina
GO! By not going your letting his words still have power over you. Break the cycle and enjoy the trip with your mom. You're beautiful!
PlainJaneLonelyHeart
PlainJaneLonelyHeart
I think you would really regret not going on that vacation. Don't let this pass you by! You're beautiful and you deserve to be happy, so go on that trip and give yourself a chance!
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
People who hate themselves project it onto others with name calling etc. You are none of those things! Don't believe it for even an instant, in fact, don't call yourself dirty names!! Your physical looks do not define you. Your past does not define you. Your body, is not who you are! The person who you are on the inside, The decision make, the thoughtful, loving caring person that occupies your heart space, is who you really are!

Try to focus on the present, the here, and the now. Your world consists of your self, your family, and close friends. Stay as far away from negative people as you can and don't let anyone drag you down. If it makes you feel good to go to Disney with family then go there!

God Bless!
PinkPearls
PinkPearls
Wow that really mean for him to call you that. I don't think you ugly at all. You are beautiful know matter what. Looks doesn't always matter. I was made fun of all the time and even guys think it is funny which is dumb. Don't let anyone tell you're not beautiful because you are beautiful. No one should ever call you trash my ex called me crazy names too even thought I was schizophrenia be cause of my mild autism and he couldn't accept me. Orlando sounds a lovely warmer place to go. Oh I think you should go don't let anyone hold you back even if you don't want to, try have some fun with people who really love you. Hugs <>
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