I have played both roles you describe, sometimes I've been you and sometimes I've been your friend. My family did not teach me about proper boundaries or how to connect in a healthy way with other people, and though I am of course guessing I wonder if the same is true for you and/or your friend. I have repeated the dysfunctional patterns I grew up around many times in my life. Sometimes I've only had one person to turn to, and this person would end up pissing me off and making me feel worse than if we never talked at all, but I'd get so lonely I'd come back for more. Since none of us can change another person, perhaps you can join some sort of group to make new friends, and accept your current friend as someone who means well but probably has issues herself? If you aren't in therapy, perhaps you can be, and this would give you a professionally trained person to talk about your issues with. I'll pray for you.

Thanks, I am in Therapy, and I am seeking out new friends, but I have never really had anyone I have ever felt comfortable opening up with, and I tell this to my councilor, and I was hoping and working on trying to get the the point with my friend, but sadly she is no longer wanting for close friendship, and I can see why, Humans are hard and I had shut her out to many times to count, so hopefully I can find a larger group of friends who I feel more comfortable with, that maybe are willing to set boundaries that we are both comfortable with. It is just hard to do that, cause again, people are all so vastly complex and different, it is sometimes daunting to accomplish!
I just was feeling down when I posted this and I am glad you took the time to respond :)

Take it from someone whose mom was always trying to fix me, it's no fun. Plus it leaves you always feeling like there's something wrong with you and that it's up to someone else other than yourself to do something about it. Again no fun and damaging even.

Bionic narwhal, I have to say I like your name. Narwhals are cool.

Your friend sounds perhaps insecure. Is she telling you her stuff? i generally go 'thing' for 'thing.'. If it's not your way to open up to people, you don't have to. Nor do you have to make anything up either. If you have no terrible secrets, then you have no terrible secrets.

But if you do have a terrible secret, tell the counsellor first, and then see how that changes how you are. They aren't allowed to tell anyone your secrets. If you feel stronger, and like you are more.. powerful from having told him, then maybe it will be okay to tell your friend.

But practise on the counsellor first. That's what they're paid for. :D

So the thing is my friend is from an abusive family situation and she talks about it constentally and i told her in the past that i am not overly open and i usually do a thing per thing type deal but like she just talks about it with every one and i once told her about me being suicidal at times and she just said "we will get through this together" and it just rubbed me the wrong way i dunno i told my counciler things also but like even that made me severly unconfortable because i had to talk about it and how i felt and that is why i am trying this online thing cause the inperson thing freaks me out to the point of like almost puking

Sounds like you could use a new friend. Not a lot of compatibility with this one, it seems.

I hope you get what you need, and find a way to increase your happiness, and deal with your issues, whatever they are in a positive and successful way. this is a post I can relate to, and then not exactly relate too, as I am usually a total loner, don't go out of my way to make friends, have friends or keep friends. I do try to help others, but not in a way that I expect anything in return.