Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I am asking this because i already attempted a suicide attempt a while ago and no one cared that i did, i got some minor liver damage form that attempt. Anyway, i am planning on ending my life by the end of this year, i know it seems irational at this young age but i dont see any other reason to keep waiting for anything anymore. I have a career, I am capable of learning anything, im a good friend which is what kills me most of all, i am always sad and depressed because i feel lonely and i have no one to talk to but i make time to help others in my life, or just strangers that look like they need help. I just seem to have lost all self worth. I wanted to live long enough to have a family of my own, but aperantly women dont want a guy that is like me, i could care less anymore now, I lived a decent life now, i wish i could see more in my future but i see nothing at all. I belive in god but i know i deserve to go to hell, after all he forgives those that sin on earth into heaven, maybe i can see all the friends that died before me there too. I never felt happy in my life, i feel lonely because i think i am not needed by anyone anymore, plus geting close to a girl i like just to be blown off makes me feel even worse. I dont think i am making a mistake by ending my life am I? i dont see anything there for me anymore, i wish my life had more meaning than to just watch people my age out drinking and having sex and having fun, i dont find that shit fun at all, so i dont think i could ever be with anyone anymore. LoL im just rambling on now, maybe i am better than most for having control but i really dont think i can hold on to my life anymore, it wont be too bad for my family i already have enough money for my funeral saved up so that will be all taken care of, my friends might miss me but they might value their lives more if i lose mine, I feel glad that i am doing this, i hoped for too long that i dint get this depression and i found the cure really fast, i guess i am not strong enough. Can anyone make any suggestions as to what i should do before i end it, should i leave a note or anything behind, i already told everyone i know i am doing this and they just laughed at me thinking i wont, jokes on them though. I lived a good life so far i know i have but i guess happiness is one thing that is always out of reach for me and always will be. Let me know what might be a good choice for me to do, in this situation i dont need pills or doctors i am not crazy, i just want to die, i talked to alot of people and i see no hope still for me.
The only other person sounding like you I know is my husband. With one difference that he attempted having sex with somebody in your age and could not do it (he has bad sexual issues). The girl reacted agressively and laughed or something. After that he did not try to have sex with anybody till he got to 38 years old. than he went to Ukraine to meet woman and had approximately the same result. Than he went second time to Ukraine and met me. We got married and were married for 8 years even though first two years he could not have sex at all. I love him anyway (appreciated his caring personality). We started exrsise (run) and finaly he was able to have something. So if you can not have sex on first date (like woman who already seen it before) I most likely will conclude that you are having sexual issues. There is nothing that will make you think any other way. Most likely you are neurotic and it takes you longer time to concentrate and get eroused. That is still not a reason to suicide.
Also there are a lot of men who concerned over size of their staff (even those who have it normal size). That is also not reason to kill yourself because size is no matter.
There is a lot of men like that around. You are not alone.
And what do you mean by you do not respect partner who does not have control. Why you would even care about something like that if you are gpoing to kill yourself anyway?
See you want other people to respect you but you are not respecting and judging people yourself (those girls that have sex on first date).
You do not know what is going on in person's life that she has sex on first date but you already judged the person like that, laughed at them, insulted them by saying that you will not have respect to them. And automatically concluded that you are better than them and thereforte need somebody better than those prostitutes.
So why (remind me) did you get apset that people do not respect you if you do not respect people yourself? Because you did not got to date Beyonce or princess? Other ones not good enough for you.
What did you say? You are so good and nice and helping to everybody. As I see you are helping only to certain people who deserves your respect. But if the person not good enough you leave them to their problems and turn back on them because you do not want to mess with it (you are way too cool to deal with it)
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But when you are having problems you rise whole hell and expect that everybody should feel for you and help you and half of the planet should worry if you desided to kill yourself for strange reasons. Explain me why exactly I should know about it? I am having my own issues (much worse than what you are having). Everybody on this site have some problems but you do not care about anybody else.
As I said you should go to military and do something for your country if you are ready to die anyway instead of making some people to pick up the trash of the ground if you jump down.
Or do you think those people have nothing more pleasant to do?
Or you do not care about your country too?
How was your christmas?? and what does the New Year look like for you?? Im working. lots of paper work. ugh. i don't think sex would help me in this situation lol
Secondly, I'm gonna have to come and bitch-slap you if you don't go get some anti-depressents. How can you acknowledge that it is a disease yet be so anti-meds? I'm so sorry about your mom, but let's get real, Cancer is far more likely to be untreatable as where your problem is at least manageable. I can't promise you happiness, but you should at least be able to tolerate and take the edge off life.
I know in my heart you want to keep trying. Living half your life and still feeling like you do is one thing, but you haven't been around long enough to either declare yourself a failure or predict the future as never getting any better. Search inside yourself for changes you need to make to find caring friends and women. I'm going to still keep fighting for you whether you like it or not. :-)
Your post described me exactly. What I want to tell you is that the statement you made (as seen above here) is untrue. I am suicidal, bipolar, and feel crazy 99% of the time. Yet I have found someone to love me, unconditionaly, completely and would be devestated if I was to take my own life. He has stood by me through so much so I can tell you that your someone is out there waiting for you. The fact that you care about others will get you through your tough time and lead you to the person who will love you unconditionally and get you thru your tough time. Believe me, it will get better please dont give up!! Friend me and we will talk I will be there for you and help you thru this before you do anything you cannot take back!!!
I had this feeling a long time ago and what I did at the time was to make short goals, one day at a time... I don't want to sound religious but the truth is that everyone of us has a purpose and a reason why God put us on this earth, if you wait a little longer you will find that purpose.... believe me it is there... just give yourself a little more time. don't make any decisions...just go with the flow. You mentioned that you like helping people and that means that you have a lot to offer.... Keep writting here becuase it helps to vent as well. Hugs, Karen
You say you are not crazy but objectively read what you have written and tell me that sounds normal to you, come on, man.
You said... "i dont like to sleep around for no reason and i also feel so bad for not........... " Do you feel like you are in a battle between being a Saint or a Sinner? If so, welcome to the human race. Overall you have always sounded like your moral standards are high. So stop feeling bad for being good. You will never see any hope as long as you keep defeating yourself. Don't pay such a high price to briefly prove a point to idiots that laughed at you.
God will be judge to you. But I would not be proud of that.
You know what I see in your picture? A handsome young man that's so full of potential. You said your mom passed?
As a mother, if I knew my son was going through what your going through I would be beside myself with sorrow.
Fight! You deserve to have a happy life. If that means medications so be it, look at them as tools in your arsenal to beat this thing, your reaching out for help, there is something in you that's already fighting!
Oh believe me, in October I tried to take my life. I'm the mother of two kids with autism. Can you imagine? I'm not sure how it came to that, but the pain was such agony.
One more day, just fight, one more day then maybe the next. The world is better with you in it. Be brave with me?
That is the same thing you are doing. You get on here for help. God is talking thru us and telling you to see a DR.you refuse. God told us you need medication, you refuse to take any.
You are only 21 and compling that you are not marry or have kids. I'm telling you if you chose to die you will never have it.You say people do not think you are strong, you can kill yourself and prove to them they are right. You can be a man and get help and choese to live and prove them right.
Anyone can kill themselves, however it take a very strong man or woman to choose to stay and fight. To be a better person, to not give in. You have the same choose, it up to you.
If you choose to continue with therapy and - I know you don't want to hear this - medicine you will soon see a light.
I was very depressed once and also wanted to die, but therapy and meds helped me immensely and now I am quitting antidepressants, I have a boyfriend and I am in graduate school.
Hang in there. There IS a better future waiting for you!