Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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How do you start over?

Luna113
Luna113
I have so much in my past that contributes to my depression and a lot of it is because it was my fault. I did such stupid things, either from ignorance or willful self destruction. Also, I wasn't always a good person. Granted, I didn't do anything *horrible*, but I went through a time when I was in so much pain, that I was selfish, shallow; and it hurt people. I did it on purpose because I had decided I wasn't going to be accepted, loved, or cared about. It was a blip of a few years in my life, but it really haunts me.

I also had times where I got into bad situations and didn't know how to get out. I fought, and cried, and made more enemies than friends. Every day was so emotional and charged that I forgot which way was up. I was bullied almost daily. So many stupid mistakes were made because my mind was melting from stress and drama.

I have tried so hard to forgive myself, but I just can't. I try to reason and plead with my mind to just let it go. I'm certain I would have already forgiven another in a similar place. Yet, I can't for myself, and I can't do anything to fix any of it. I'm not exaggerating when I say it seethes in the back of my mind every day, as if guilting myself hard enough will make it not have happened. I'm so afraid of screwing up again or somehow reverting. It's paralyzing, even after years have passed and I've done my best to ensure I'm being the best person I can be. Still it's not enough. I just want to forgive myself so I can start moving forward again.
pinkpumpkin143
pinkpumpkin143
One thing that helps me to move on past mistakes is realizing you cant do anything to change them and I know it hurts but all you can do is accept it and move on. All you can do is move on, you cant change anything now but you can change your future and learn to be a better person. You not be intrested in relgion or may not belive but god still loves u and if u can keep praying on it maybe u can learn how to forgive yourself
gramybear
gramybear
First of all, it sounds like you have acknowledged all the things that you did wrong and who you have hurt. That is always step one. Secondly, until you learn to love yourself and forgive yourself, you are not going to get rid of the guilt. Guilt will eat you alive and destroy you at the same time. You can't change what you have already done, but you can certainly make amends to those that you feel you hurt. Either they accept your apology or they don't. If they don't, then let go and move on. We can't change others no matter how hard we try. But what we can do, is change ourselves. So you do have some work to do. If you have acknowledged everything that you have done then it's time to move forward. Make amends where and when you can, learn to let go of the guilt, and lastly, learn to love yourself. And ask yourself exactly who it is helping by you staying in the mind set of guilt? No-one. You can fix all of this< I know you can. Hugs GB
anneccleaver
anneccleaver
If you are feeling isolated there are two options: make a list of buddies from school days that you wouldn't mind reconnecting with even from middle school. Then attempt it. Or try attending some public events with people who have like interests. www.meetup.com
Luna113
Luna113
Part of what went wrong was an incident with one of my group of friends. We were all great friends and had been since high school, but there was one of them who was.....well, very needy and emotionally kind of a drain. She needed somewhere to go and nobody wanted to live with her. I volunteered and we became roommates. Well, long story short, she stole from me, I caught her and simply asked to be paid back, she lied to our friends and turned them against me. I felt like my whole world got yanked out from under me. I'd come home to them all camping in the living room, glaring at me. It was awful...I'd never been so betrayed. It started my life spiraling out of control.

Even though in time they realized what had happened and I'd forgiven them, even her.....it was never the same. The bond just wasn't there. I haven't really been able to make friends since. It always either falls apart quietly or I chase them off, regrettably.
BlueYonderDreams
BlueYonderDreams
Forgiving ourselves can be difficult because we are often harder on ourselves than anyone else. I think you need to treat yourself the way you would another person.

Realize that we're all human. We all make mistakes and do things we regret, but we do not have to be defined by our mistakes. What counts is that we acknowledge them, learn from them, and do our best to do better.

You cannot change the past. At some point you have to accept that it is what it is and start focusing on the present and future.
gramybear
gramybear
You are chasing people away because you are so afraid of rejection and being hurt once again. Don't let one person ruin the rest of your life. Please believe this.. Karma is not far behind. I don't know if you believe in God or not, but he has already forgiven you and he loves you no matter what you did. What he wants now is for you to learn to love yourself. Don't hang on to what that girl did. And for those other girls that took sides without knowing the truth? Who would want them as a friend anyway? I surely wouldn't. Forget the past and work on the now and the future. We can't change the past what we certainly can change our future. Hugs GB
sweatingbullets
sweatingbullets
There should only be two types of experiences in life;
-pleasant ones
-ones you learn from
:)
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