Ways I've been good to myself at work:
- standing up to those who are abusive to me. I once quit a job where the manager called me incompetent on the sales floor. I told HR that if she was unsatisfied with my skills, it was up to her as manager to correct whatever deficiency she had identified.
- taking time out when I needed it. When I worked in the emergency room and I had a tough patient, I'd tell the nurses that I would be back in a few minutes and walk outside until I had calmed down a bit.
- venting to coworkers. I've griped to a supervisor or two in my time.

These are all ways to take care of yourself. I hope you find them helpful.

Annie

I used to reward myself with food. I'm trying to lose weight so that has to be curtailed. I like finding new jokes or things that make me laugh. If I have the money I'll buy some new fishing stuff. And course if the weather is good I'll plan a trip to the Gulfcoast and go fishing in my boat.

Sometimes I'll take my wife to see a movie. I took her on a cruise to the Bahamas last year. That was on my "bucket list." But that was something we were able to do because of some planning and a small windfall from where I work.

Rewards don't have to be big or expensive. They can be small things like going to a garage sale or buying a book at the used book store. I'll get myself a new cd to listen to in my truck. There are free things too. Like attending concerts from High School or Middle School bands. My son has a degree in music education. We were able to attend concerts that he performed in and recently we were able to see him conduct middle school kids in a jazz band. All of these things are ways that I've been good to myself. And I'm sure there's more that I've forgotten. Sometimes I had to force myself to go to places like the concerts but afterwards I was happy that I went. Thanks for this thoughtful post. I hope some of what I mentioned was helpfull. ((((((( Hugs )))))

I used to reward myself with food. I'm trying to lose weight so that has to be curtailed. I like finding new jokes or things that make me laugh. If I have the money I'll buy some new fishing stuff. And course if the weather is good I'll plan a trip to the Gulfcoast and go fishing in my boat.

Sometimes I'll take my wife to see a movie. I took her on a cruise to the Bahamas last year. That was on my "bucket list." But that was something we were able to do because of some planning and a small windfall from where I work.

Rewards don't have to be big or expensive. They can be small things like going to a garage sale or buying a book at the used book store. I'll get myself a new cd to listen to in my truck. There are free things too. Like attending concerts from High School or Middle School bands. My son has a degree in music education. We were able to attend concerts that he performed in and recently we were able to see him conduct middle school kids in a jazz band. All of these things are ways that I've been good to myself. And I'm sure there's more that I've forgotten. Sometimes I had to force myself to go to places like the concerts but afterwards I was happy that I went. Thanks for this thoughtful post. I hope some of what I mentioned was helpfull. ((((((( Hugs )))))

haha oldrake,
i am a high school music teacher!

Suzy I don't know whether to envy you or offer my sympathies. :p

Hi Suzyq,

'Lower than a snakes belly" LOL Funny!

On a more serious note, I notice you are a High school music teacher - presumably State (Government)?

Quote: "some of my colleagues are very rude, abusive and demanding..."

yours seems to be a 'specialist' teaching role, and I wouldn't have thought that you would (if you didn't want to) have much 'interaction' with other teachers. But with all due respect to you and others, SOME teachers do have a stick up their arses!

I presume you are in a teachers Union? Have you taken your grievances to the Principal? With ALL the Workplace Bully (and bullying at schools) I would have thought ALL would go out of their way to prevent 'bullying' of any kind from being reported (News, Newspapers etc) There is Fair Work Australia, Ombudsmen, and of course your Union.

Perhaps if/when they say something rude... Say something back like 'If a STUDENT had spoken to YOU in that manner, you would have put them on detention"!!!!!

If it doesn't stop, speak to your Principal or perhaps someone from the District Office... Take care!

Happy Australia Day!

carry around a positive affirmation in your pocket and read it when you need to.

I "give" myself challenges, physical and mental.

Physical: I exercise. I set a goal every day, for a distance on a bicycle and/or a certain amount of reps of pushing weight at the gym, and I achieve it. It's a great way to alleviate boredom, self-loathing, and embrace the challenge of adversity (like rude, obnoxious, abusive people, which we all have to deal with). It helps me shrug off abuse and maintain a sense of humor. If some dick-head is rude to me, I just shrug my shoulders and say "what an asshole" or "what a guy...I'm sure he's got a lot on his plate and is dealing with a lot of shit himself".

Mental: In addition to doing work for others, for pay, to make a buck, I "give" myself artistic, "personal" projects to complete, and a time limit on completing them. I then fulfill that.

If making-a-buck workload becomes too intense, to the point where I'm not able to complete the personal project by the time I wanted, I "forgive" myself, and then set a new deadline for completing the personal project. But I do complete the personal project.

At the moment, I'm putting the finishing touches on editing and thus completing a film on the American Civil War. It's a beautiful piece of work, artistic/poetic/lyrical statement on a horrible subject, that bloody awful war, told through moving images I captured at live battle reenactments that take place all over this great country. The film is purely an audio/visual experience. It contains no narration. It makes no attempt to preach. It simply presents an experience, and puts it out there for an audience to make up its own mind about what the film means. I'll begin putting it into film festivals in March.

Here's a Coming Attraction trailer for the film:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcVDgNxDK_0

Ahh...something cathartic about vicariously living violence without actually hurting anybody.

Cathartically satisfying, even thrilling!

You ladies obviously have a different, softer, more tender way of expressing yourselves...like communicating here, which I like too!

With regards to "rewarding" one's self by buying something, while CONSUMPTION, of any kind (food, clothing, jewelry, high-tech electronics) is great, it is a short-lived pleasure.

PRODUCTION, actually producing something, that I feel is great, achieves a longer-lasting thrill, for me.

If you can go outside between classes or on breaks, I've had some luck with that...even if it's just for a few minutes. I never used to stay inside on my lunch breaks. Even after my cigarettes were smoked I would stay outsdie as long as possible...we get a little nuts being inside all day, in my opinion lol.

So that's my suggestion...take little mini-breaks ouside, breathe the fresh air, focus on nature if you can :)

I am good to myself when I don't disect and worry or blame myself about everything I've done or said. So when you go to work tomorrow, don't question yourself or feelings and keep that in mind as it helps when dealing with c**ts and don't react

of course ive gone through the correct channels to stop the bullying. ive stoped short of an official complaint because i believe it will make things worse. the bullier stops for a while but will then start acting up again. my first day back was even worse than expected, the regular bullier was fine but the supervisor had some kind of personality break or something and instead of being her usual sweet self she said 'im going to be a nazi this year' and was really unbearably horrible. somuch so i ent a msg to my deputy and friend saying i am lookijng for another jub.

>>i was wondering what you guys do to be kind to yourselves.

I do a (frequent) inventory of 'myself'. I acknowledge my good points, virtues, values, behavior, etc etc etc and I give myself approval and praise. But that is only 1/2 of it.

I also acknowledge my faults ... poor judgement, deceit, poor behavior, neglectfulness, lack of motivation ... there are MANY. I do not punish myself for any of those things .. I simply make an effort to NOT do them in the future.

As one would not whip a puppy for chewing up the carpet, I do not whip myself .. for ANY reason .. EVER.

I (now) live my life as a person who is content with myself .. in that I strive to do 'what is right' in life. I am far from perfect .. but (now) that light is 'turned on' in my head ... and .. it works as a means to happiness for me. Comes down to self approval.

It works much better than buying myself a new Corvette.