I don't know if you can. If they have never felt simular feelings. Maybe give them a book on what depression is like.

I don't think you can. They have to survive as well.

my mother wanted to be understood. banged on at us, constant haranguing, days of crying and weeping and such. At best she ranted till the anxiety attack broke. At worst she damaged me outstandingly.

Leave the family alone and see them as 'real world'. They're the people you have to learn to interact with. Your depression is inner world stuff. It's between you and you. It's all about learning how to feel your feelings, and nobody can help you do that.

JMHO based on my life of course. :)

I have a couple of things I have used.

The first one is comparing it to diabetics. You can't tell if a person is a diabetic just by looking at them. But they have to be very careful about their sugar levels. Some diabetics can manage their problem with diet control, others need medication. (Insulin.) You can't tell if a person is depressed just by looking at them. Our brains tend to make us feel bad and withdraw in situations that others do not understand. (Just like a diabetic may look at a chocolate cake as a terrible thing, we can look at simple daily issues and se a terrible thing.) Some of us need medication, but most of us "need" therapy.

The second one is vision problems. If a person has bad vision, they need glasses. No amount of pressure, lecturing, pep talks or what ever will make them see clearly. (Ignore the lasic surgery issue here!) Let them know that there are days when we feel bad, sad, or simply drained of energy. It is not a simple matter of jumping out of bed, talking a shower and getting going.

Not sure if this will work for your friends and family, hope you find something that works.

Gentle hugs

You all are wonderful. Love it here.

Pepper gave great examples..Still unless you've been through it, I'm not sure you can fully understand it.

I think that stigma is still alive and well. The symptoms of depression (isolation, sadness, panic, low energy) are not pretty and it takes a special type of person be able to "get it" and to love you for all that you are
I think that you have to sort of work with your intuition on who might be understanding.
My hairdresser once said to me "I hate people who are depressed" and I wanted to and should have said "well you are talking to one of those people" right now. I was fuming inside to think that as a business owner that she had the audacity to say such a thing. I think that we can all understand here on DS, and frankly those who do not understand are ignorant--karma is just a step away

Simply excellent advice. You all have given me new ways to look at and explain myself. Thank you.

I agree, unless a person has been through it, they cannot possibly understand it. I leave my mental issues to these boards and my therapist. Ted

That's sobering, Sly, but our reality.

Just take it slow.

You can't get someone to understand unless they have been through it themselves. don't even try. I don't talk about my depression or recovery from addiction with anyone except those in my groups, in my 12 step groups, and my sponsor, and mental health professionals.

You don't NEED them to understand in order for you to get better. Your loved ones will contribute nothing to this process unless they have experienced depression or trauma.

I'm so glad I asked this question

the only way I could get my husband to realy understand was to bring him to see my phicatrist ...a number of time so he could tell him when and how he was helping me and when and how he was just making it all worse .....and explain what I was going through ....it worked ......