Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Mental Health
/ Depression Support Group

Haven't been on here in a while...

distarr
distarr

I have suffered with major depression since I was 15, I have tried all types of medication and its not really for me, not saying others shouldnt due it, my belief is what ever works for you, that is what you should do.


Major trauma mixed with different types of abuse is what I suffer from, ptsd, anixety, adhd and major depression, its so difficult because it is this line that I walk daily and I can be fine but one thing can knock me down especially if it is a major trigger such as moving, I have lived in the same house for seven years and I tried to buy it and it fell through a few months ago now I have to leave I have 7 days, today I really thought about suicide but could never due it only because of my cats why really scared me is that I pictured myself giving them to a lady who runs a cat rescue and lying to her saying I just need her to take them until I find a place ( which would be the last time I would ever see them) because right after that I would finally do what I have been thinking about all of these years to finally for once have peace in my life.


I keep telling myself this shall pass ( which I know it will it always does), and try and think of the positive things that can come out of this move, but the only place I have to move into is with a guy who is a friend of mine but have had sketchy things in the past with him and to be quite honest he sometimes creeps me out.


I have noone to talk to about how I am feeling, if I call a hotline I am scared they will send police to my house, if I tell my medical doctor she will definetly commit me ( but I did make a telehealth appointment with her tomorrow thats how bad it got today for me) , my thearpist is on vacation, so I am left to fight this shit on my own, I thank you for having this format to vent and have like minded people, its so good to know that I am not alone because honestly thats all i feel is that I am alone as I have always been my whole life.


Plus I started a new job two weeks ago that is very demanding, and my brother has always had health issues, but he was told last week he now has stage 4 kidney diease, so I dont want to even bother him with any of my problems.


I have to say I really do want to die, but I wont just yet, I pray tomorrow I will feel just a little better enough to be able to funtion, I have been so good lately, but like I said when we suffer with depression its always that fine line that at any giving minute you can cross and completely lose everything.

Spectralbutterfly91
Spectralbutterfly91
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. I know how difficult it is to walk that line and it really is difficult. I hope you can weather this storm and come out the other side. I know you have that strength as you've made it this far. Keep going and the clouds will clear. Huge hugs to you. If you ever need a chat you can send me a message.
GreenEyes727
GreenEyes727
In 1992, on the day of the office Christmas party, I went into my boss and told him that I couldn't work. He asked if I was thinking of hurting myself. I said that I was but that I didn't want to. He calmed me down, made some calls, we went to the Christmas party to eat and then we went to the hospital. On the way in, he told me that I might have to stay overnight. I ended up staying for 2 weeks and it was for the best. My new boyfriend stood by me. If you are suicidal, then the best place for you to be is in the hospital. Your cats need you. Your brother needs you. Your new job needs you. I looked back on that experience in the hospital for a long time. I ended up back there in 1995 for 4 days for my OCD. I should have stayed longer but I missed my cat. We are here for you. Suicide is never the answer. I'm glad that you have a telehealth appointment. Take care!
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