Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I had posted a long time ago about someone who seemed pretty obssessive toward me. I had managed to keep my distance. We exchanged numbers many years ago and I liked him for a while but he ghosted and breadcrumbed me. When I finally lost interest and let it go, he started to get pretty fixated on me.
He is part of my broader friend network. I would see him around from time to time. He would sort of latch onto me and try to monopolize my time. Once, he tried to have an 'honest conversation' with me. He started kind of babbling and 'confessing his feelings' which was getting to be a turnoff. He acted like he was groveling and was talking about how stupid he felt around me and that he was so into me. I explained that while it looked like we might have gotten together at one point, unfortunately that time had come and gone. Unfortunately this didn't seem to dissuade him. He gave me his schedule and insisted that we could get together, and I declined.
I would see him around again at other get togethers after that, and he would follow me out to my car and ask me if he could give me a call. Invariably I would say no and walk off. After that, I noticed that he seemed to have found me on Meetup, and before they changed their platform to paid, he would find the meetups I was in and sign up to whatever I was going to. If I cancelled, he would then cancel too. This was a few summers ago and I was getting a little spooked at this point.
Fast forward to 2026. I've been out of school for over a year and can't seem to find a job. I remembered that he said that he really liked the company that he worked for, and to consider working there and that maybe he could put in a word for me. I remembered this last fall and thought about taking a risk and getting his phone number to see if I could pass on my resume. Things were going badly and I was pretty desperate for a job, so I got his number from my friend and asked him if I could text him my resume. I told my therapist at the time that I was probably taking like a chance and I was risking opening up the door to his obsessive behavior again. I was right. Periodically he will text, sending non professional type of communications, flirtations, and basically trying to open that door again. As the title states, I have myself to blame. I guess when desperate I resorted to what ever I thought I could to find work. The job situtation went nowwhere, he said he would talk to some people at a meeting. I applied online for a position at his company, and was turned down out of hand. This weekend he was texting here again, starting by asking how I am and then gradually worked his way up to more flirty conversation. He will try to keep me on the phone for hours. I simply didn't answer and blocked the number.
If someone told me directly to my face that they were not interested I would never bring it up, ever again. I was, and have been so desperate as far as the job situation is concerned that I tried to network with him. Per my one in two chance prediction I was opening the door to more fixation, here I am again. I dont' think I will ever understand people like this.
-
check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
-
Hope the dog days of summer aren't getting you down!
Please use self-compassion and remind yourself this was just another lesson in life. Every day we get new lessons in life, some minor, some major. We can't trust a lot of people in this world, I have now decided this sad aspect of life. Like you, I struggle with the old codependency patterns and wanting people to be like I want them to be.
I had a big huge lesson about this wanting others to be the way I want them to be. Like you took a chance on this man when you knew he was a creepy dude. I got majorly scr*wed over by a woman "friend" a year and a half ago. And I knew the behaviors she had were a problem but it took something bad she did to wake me up.
And then I had to sweep up the mess and take over for her in a job like thing. I asked myself over and over why did I trust this woman, why did I need her to like me, fake like me, she was using me but I pretended it was a true friendship. And I told her she did harm to me, not me to her, she failed and caused the problems. So tired of these people.
You were desperate and he probably lied to you about helping you get a job. Your job application at his work place probably did not meet their algorithm key words so it put you in the no pile automatically. Something about this guy makes me think he is a creeper, a grifter, a liar, with no empathy for other people. He would not be texting you the flirty things or doing the meet-up hacking that I now believe he did or stalking you.