I've never been manic but I've never heard of anyone who enjoyed it, so I wonder if you were really manic. Depression is hard. Just take it day by day, minute by minute and know that this is a disease and not your fault. Do you have a therapist or pdoc you see? If you really are bipolar, I would strongly recommend you see someone. There really are meds that can help.

Annie

Have you spoken to your doctor about the manic moods?

I did love my manic episode i loved it it was amazing i just dont like the cash im having now:(. My cpn saw me manic fo the fist time soo they thinking i have bipola which has not been dignosed fo me yet. so got to see a psychartist soon about it. Im scared i dont want Bipola i love the manic though it was a great feling i felt like i was on top of the world!.

I find what helps when I crash is throwing myself into something where I feel like I can pour the almost unbearable amount of emotion I'm feeling. I love to paint and write for instance so this is my escape. Sometimes as silly as it sounds just screaming can be therapeutic and my boyfriend who thinks some of the heart of my depression is repressing negative emotions from past memories takes me outside to alienated places just to scream. After I scream which sometimes leads to crying from relief of it and just let out a lot I cant let out with people around it helps. It sucks having to pretend your happy to lead a normal life but in those quiet moments just let go...and it helps.

Depression is something nobody wants to have.

Hiddenaway, can you be clear on what manic episodes are? It seems like there are periods where you are at a extreme high and then bad lows, correct? Sorry if I sound legalistic, but i do understand what its like to deal with the clinical depression-,or is that the same?

Im confused. I do know what it is like to go through bouts of severe depression. It is not the best and you certainly don't feel like you're on top of the mountain. I was diagnosed with complex ptsd also.

Reality is: no matter how hard you want to push yourself, Annie is right- try to do your best, moment by moment. At least that's what it feels like for me. I ask God to help me make it through with his strength and grace.

My manic episode i go really hyper i laugh to myself at nothing i laugh at everyone. i ask loads and loads of silly questions i get racing thoughts i get urges to go and spend all my money on things which i dont need. Then my low moods are just shite i hate it. I use to be a chirstian but i have fallen away from God recanslty due to my illness and quistion alot about my faith to be honest. At the moment im living in supported accomidation which is nice as i got staff around 24/7 if i need them. whejn im low i isolate myself dont wanna talk to anyone i hear voices and see things. Its all crap i just want it too all go away. oh and allso when im manic i barly sleep or eat. Hmm so yeah thaTS ME SUMMED UP:(. oops sorry for caps. A few times i have screamed AND MY WORD it was amazing just to let it all out though after i screamed into the pillow i end up crying and shouting but it feels good to do that now and again. i do some art work on thursdays and once i get drawing something i am like im not there im in a diffrent world to what i am in. I hope this all makes sence. thanks peeps for rewplying im glad i can talk on here. Sorry i am rubbish aT THE MO. oops dam caps im sorry i keep hitting that dam button how annoying. Hope u are both k and im sorry u also suffer from depression its not nice i am here for ya all if u wanna talk to me too.