Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I’m going through a very tough time folks. I just wanted to speak to some people going through the same thing as friends and family will do their best to cheer you up but they can never really understand. The hurt will be different for each of us I guess.
I’m 28 and have been with my girlfriend for 10 years. We were due to get married in April this year but on New Year’s Eve I discovered she was having an affair with a guy at her work.
When confronted she lied to me about it for weeks until the truth finally came out. I then did something that I would advise none of you to do, but you will do it anyway. I asked for the details.
To her credit she was brutally honest and told me it was more than a sexual affair, (for which I also asked for the details of) but that she had fallen for him. The stress of the wedding had made her realize she was not suited to a monogamous relationship and wanted to see this other man as well as me and she asked for an open relationship. I declined the suggestion in disgust.
This girl was my friend, life partner and childhood sweetheart. The level of devastation I feel is indescribable. Has anyone else been through this and can you tell me, will the pain ever go away?
I feel like my whole life has fallen apart. I have no direction, nothing to work for, no hopes for the future and feel completely lost. My day consists of sitting in a dark room until someone drags me out to the pub. I really feel that my life is ruined and everything looks black to me, I don't knkow whats going on.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated guys.
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I know this is stupid, but after not being able to find a job after graduation for almost two years, I ended up just taking an online teaching job because I couldn't find anything in my field. I was trying to get out of teaching and I feel so devastated. I felt this crushing feeling when I signed the paperwork and when I was in the meetings. I know that sounds so dramatic but it is how I felt. It...
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I am sorry to here that this has happened to you. Your break up sounds quite devastating and painful indeed.
I know it hurts that she is no longer there. She was your friend and you were with her for so long. But I believe with time, you will find someone else. Tonight, I wrote a daily motivation board on my wall, and one of the things I reminded myself is that great things often take time.
Were there any lessons that you learned through having this relationship? Any experiences that you were glad you got to have? Cherish those. They've helped make you a stronger, more wise, and experienced individual.
I'd recommend jotting down things that could make you happy. Take life one step at a time. Try finding one thing each day that brings you joy. Talking with others, creating things, watching movies/tv, exploring, taking walks.
It hurts to hear that you're spending your days sitting alone in the dark. Can you start by turning on your light? Have you tried exercising to take your mind off of your pain?
Let me know if you need any other ideas/resources. You're worthy of care and wonderful things
I applaud you for saying NO to the open relationship thing. A couple I know very indirectly (only seen them as a couple 1 or 2 times) tried the open relationship thing. The lady in that relationship is now rather exclusive with the other man, and the guy from that relationship was devistated and bailed on it. Sadly that couple got married before it turned sour. I'm not trying to force my views here, just proud that you did not sacrifice what you were looking for as a last ditch effort to hang onto what you thought you had.
There is a group here for breakups and divorces, please consider joining that group. People there have much more personal experience to share with you. All I can say are the normal things: let yourself get angry, let yourself cry, and do all the other grieving things. And when you are ready, open up for love again.
Gentle hugs
I am so sorry for your loss.
I'd say she panicked and suddenly realised she didn't want to commit for life. Were you her first boyfriend? One thing is for sure, if she had committed, nobody else would have been able to get in. So this was not something wonderful you had that broke: this is something you never had, but both of you with good intentions thought you had for a long time.
I don't know how to help and I doubt what I've just said helps right now. All I know is that the only cure for this is time. Getting through the time. And time passes quickly if you are busy, so see what you can do about being busy.
http://www.abandonment.net/swirl-the-five-stages-of-abandonment