I am so sorry you feel unwell. You have so much strength my friend. Sending you so many good healing vibes; hope you feel better soon and see more light. So much love to you dancingbear.

Hugh hugs and love xx

Maybe the work that they're offering bores the shit out of you. Check craigslist for work that might better suit your talents and interests. Then, once working, help your sons financially when you can.

I too continue to find myself in the black hole, meandthebeast, and, since there's no way to avoid the black hole, I've found myself EMBRACING the black hole, LOVING it. And I physically exercise like a motherfucker. It helps me to push through and beyond the black hole, whilst acknowledging that it exists.

Hope this helps...

BTW, it's perfectly OK if the work your sons are offering bores the shit out of you lol.

You are loved and you are missed...

Please don't beat yourself up for not being here more; you're far from being the only one who feels those tugs on your heart; and
can't respond effectively. I feel it all the time----but so often, it's that damn disease feeding me more lies. I start to immediately feel better when I push past it, and try to reach out to others.

With our lives, the real demands on our time, and then our illness besides, it's amazing we've all been able to build the community we have. A big part of that is just old-fashioned hanging-in there. So, no one is, or should be disappointed; worried, yes, but not disappointed.

You gotta give yourself a break, not be so hard on yourself...if son doesn't understand, he needs a serious reality check...and mebbe a good old fashioned talkin'-to.

And for therapy, I recommend as many silly, ridiculous movies as possible...and youtube...can't beat youtube for helping with yer mood...take a trip back through time...and take yourself out for a nice meal, the first opportunity you have, etc.

It's always 'get back to basics time' for me, when I sink. Always a refresher course in what REALLY matters.

And I hope you're keeping your doc apprised of this change, sweetheart, and that your doc is a caring one.

Extra squisheee hugs and smiles...you're NOT alone....OOOOOOX

I am sorry you are having such a bad time lately. Praying for you. Glad you posted though, sometimes just getting it out and writing it helps make me feel better. Much hugs.

I hate to see you feeling this way, I truly do. And I wish there was someone to get your children to understand and not do what you do not need right now: anger.
I have been fighting that black hole hon so you have company,. That devil is very busy doing a lot of pushing and we need a way to turn it around and push him in the hole and cover it up with a rainbow. You are cared about so much here and I hope at least talking to us helps you a little bit. I just wish it helped you altogether. Please don't worry about us, just worry about getting yourself feeling good again. We miss you but we do understand. Sometimes anger is fear so it could be what your boys are feeling. I know I get angry with my mom when I'm afraid that she is getting sick and not getting better. Hang in there. Lots and lots of hugs.

You're ill, and you need to rest. Your sons love you, and they understand that you can't work when you're ill. I wonder if the feelings you're picking up from them are their frustration that you're ill and they're powerless to help?

This too shall pass, but you need to take things easy.

I held off responding to your post for the fact I feel exactly like you, Beastie. I feel so hopeless and feel like I don't even know what to say because I FEEL your pain.

I am, also, so tired of this big F***ing Black Hole.

All I can say, is that I understand since I live this nightmare everyday moment of my life. You're not alone, girlfriend.

Never feel sorry about not posting or responding, recently. It's ok. You need to do what is best for you.....but I am glad you did post because so many of us here do care and love you very much, including me.

Your friend... ~Nay xo

Hi again M
It's a new day and I wanted to see if you were doing any better. I'm hoping all the vibes thrown out there to that black hole, that the rainbow got there in time to cover it up and lift you up. We miss you and sure do care a lot. Lots of hugs sweety.

In another post I threw out a rope. If you can see it, grab it. I never let a friend down once they grab my rope. No charge! for free and for fun! WE ought to talk. This did not just happen out of nowhere!!!

Oh Beastie, I am so sorry you're having such a hard time. I have often thought about you and how loved you are here at DS. I can't come here when I am in that black hole either, sweetie. And I know that people here do understand what it's like to be where you are right now. Just know that you're not alone and that we are all here for you. Love and hugs

I'm truly sorry you are feeling this way hon...I haven't been here in a week until today because I am in such a bad place. I just want you to know you are in my thoughts and I hope you can climb out of that horrible pit soon ....you deserve the best hon. {{{{{Hugs}}}} and lots of love to you xx

I am back. I got some dvd's. Marx Bros and three stooges. Let's watch them!!!! A few yuks won't hurt the hole much, and it will help pass the time. Say? you got any snacks? I could sure go for some Doritos or something!!!

C'mon, Beastie!!! If we will be laughing later, we can laugh NOW!!!!

I don't mean to be a pest but you are important to me, and many others and I just wanted to check in to see if you are doing better. You don't have to answer the posts, just read them and know that people love and care about you. Love and soft hugs.