Hello rainbooyer
I'm so sorry you feel this way have you tried talking to some one how you feel maybe your doctor or a good friend it may help.

Unfortunately right now Littlechef i have no one to talk to.

I'm so very sorry, rianbooyer, that you're feeling so poorly. I think a lot of us are in the same situation these strange days. Journaling and walking are 2 good stress relievers. DS is a great place to vent your feelings too. Feel better.

Have you ever considered counseling or therapy?

Yard eggs I cant afford it.

Rainbooyer, I am sorry for your pain. I know depression can take you to a dark place. You are not alone, we are here to support you.

You might try 7 Cups to get some Therapy. There is a free service. You can down load their app. Their online sight:; https://www.7cups.com/

I hope you can find some relief. Keep posting.

When I get depressed, I remind myself that happiness is overrated, and that living, regardless of the challenges and the pain, is its own reward.

RB, I'm sorry you're at such a low point in your life. I have an idea. Did you know that you don't have to be suicidal to call the suicide hotlines? Just in distress. And I would say you qualify. You can call the national line or perhaps a local service in your state or province. They are there to listen.

Please message me if you want to talk more about how you feel. Know that there is at least one person out there in me who is concerned and wants you to feel less alone.

RB I am so sorry you are going through this right now. I have been to that low and have been struggling to get out of it. Even in times where it doesn't seem like anyone cares there is always one person, usually someone you least suspect or didn't even know existed. They are out there and they care, We care too, we are here to listen to you and to give aid if we can.