Last night I washed my poor blind cat Cali because she was covered in fleas and I feel so bad. I knew she had them but not that bad. I was all wrapped up in my own problems, the anniversary of my fiance's death and money and a jillion other things. It seems whenever I feel really bad something comes along to make me feel worse. I am sad depressed, anxious and nervous. you name it that is how I feel. they say we have a purpose here but all I see is a real struggle and sadness for the rest of my life and how can that serve any purpose. I just want to stay in bed and cry. And other people expect me to be normal and they seem content. I am taking care of my neighbor because her own kids will not do anything. They have spouses and there are grandkids with more money than me. I am just one. Her dog has fleas too and I have to wash my other cats and there is a stray I feed that I worry about. And I have to get a job and people tell me there are none and can't do them and my seasonal job does not begin till January. And I can't afford to go back to the doctor but have to email her on how I am doing. There I said it and feel better getting it out. They say things will get better but how can they when they never were. I know you all have your own problems but thanks for listening.

QP