I am glad you reached out here. I am so sorry you are struggling. I have been there with the feeling of just wanting to give up. But life is precious and a gift from God. The challenge is depression causes darkness we can't get out of on our own. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain and with the right medication it helps get back to being balanced. Then you can start to deal with the things in your life one step at a time. Have you ever taken medication for your depression? If not please go see your doctor or a psychiatrist. Then with counseling they can help you take one step at a time to help you get your life to feel like is is on tract. Start small by making a list of the things that are feeling overwhelming. That really helped me put into perspective what is bothering me. Often, just getting things of our brain and onto paper really helps. Next try to change your choice of words, say put ups instead of put downs. So many of us look down on ourselves. But we a precious child of God and He created us for a purpose in life. We are all important, matter, and are special. Life will get better but it will be a process which starts with getting the right help. I will be praying that you can find the help you need. Don't try to do this on your own. If you need to chat feel free to pm me. Remember depression is an illness, it is something we go through from time to time, it is not who we are. Hugs and God Bless

I understand what your going thru. Depression makes it hard to do anything. It puts things in slow motion. I'd advise you to reach out to your doctor for advice.
I myself just recently broke down after not being able to pull out of a deep depression and asked for meds. I'm also talking to a counselor too.
There is also a free online counselor I use called "Crisis text"
If you text HOME to 741741 you will be quickly connected with someone who will walk you thru the feelings your feeling. It has been a life saver for me and sometimes it has been the only thing Ive had when I'm in a panic.
Sometimes just talking thru your emotions help alot.
Id also start journeling on this website because i can express what I'm feeling thru words. Prayers and much bright light to you. Hang in there, you've got this.

How are things going? I have been keeping you in my prayers. Hugs

oh Anna. I am so sorry to hear you say all that.....or rather I am so sorry that all that is happening to you and you feel so alone and hopeless. I can relate. If you would like to chat more PM me.
I find that most of on here are really good people and that we often get the short end of the stick -- some of the things you said I might be able to offer advice for if you wanted. OR not of course. But I would love to listen.

Julie111 - I am so happy to have you as my friend and glad you sound energetic today. There is a (make up) story about a man who is on his way to jump in the river and meets another man who just went though a lot of losses. They have conversations. After the second man tells the first man what he just went though the first man realizes how small his problem is comparing to what the other man's problem. He changed his mind about jumping in the river, and they both walk together.

I am at this moment facing one of the most difficult problems in my life time and just very recently (four days ago) when I went to my first therapy session with a new therapist, after having no therapist for eight months, started to see a tiny light at the end of the tunnel. This therapist told me she "knows ways to help." That was something I was hoping to hear. It helps to feel that someone will walk with us in our cold dark journey ahead. I hope you feel more hopeful as each day goes by and find peace and what you hope for. Will look forward to talking more to you soon. Hope you have a good day today.

Anna1212 - You said 'I know part of the answer but not all of it." Sometimes that is all that we need ..... a little part of the solutions at a time.

Is there a possibility that you can hang on to your present job for awhile? I saw you wrote in another post about your land lord and him possible selling the house to you. I hope you will find the best way out from your difficult situation. Wishing you the best result and happy future.

thank you. I am trying to hang on to my job at least for now during this awful time but it's extremely hard because i am so depressed and anxious i can barely function and i am also being badly bullied at work.

Who were the people that bullied you, Anna? If it was your boss, complain to HR and the workers union. If they were your co-workers, I recommend that you retaliate. The more you endure bullying, the more you sanction the bullying behaviour. You have to let the world know that bullying is not alright. You need to make your stance and let your colleagues know that you will not take bullying lying down, and you will report them to any anti-discrimination organisations, postal worker union, human rights organisations that you can google on the internet. Once you develop a reputation as fearless firebrand, your colleagues will keep a social distance of 5 metres away from you. Seriously Anna, don't let people walk all over you. You are not a door mat. Cheer up my friend. Life does not spiral into a bottomless pit. The sun is still shining, and tomorrow is after all, another day.