well, on the bright side, it really helps to be flexible these days... never know when the huge company youve worked for for 20 years might go belly up and leave you stranded... options are always good.

i know how you feel tho... i had some pretty good goals set for myself by this time in my life and well, most of them havent happened. life kinda keeps getting in the way.

I think I'm in the same place.

I'm 52 and have been divorced for 10 years. Shortly after the divorce my ex took custody of my children (they were 12 and 13) and didn't allow me to see them for four years. By then they'd all but forgotten me. Trying to be part of their lives again has been a steep uphill battle. They refer to their dad and step-mother as their parents. I don't know how many times I've met one of their friends only to hear, "I thought I already met your mother."

I was 40 at the time of my marrital seperation. I KNEW I'd be remarried within a couple of years, but here it is 12 years later and I've hardly dated. I can't get past the idea that I have nothing to offer a man and don't want to deal with the rejection.

I feel so lonely and unnecessary most of the time. I'm sorry for your feeling of disconnection but it helps to know I'm not the only one having the same feelings. I know this hasn't been much of a pep talk, but I hope it helps you to know that you're not the only one, either.

HI IM SHERRY AND I TOO AM 62, IM DEFINATELY NOT WHERE I THOUGHT I WOULD BE AT THIS AGE!!! I GOT MARRIED IN 1985 WAS VERY MUCH IN LOVE HAD 3 KIDS THEN IN 1996 HE WENT TO WORK AND NEVER CAME BACK!!! 15 YRS LATER HE COMES BY AND WE HAD SEX WELL ALL THE FEELINGS CAME FLOODING BACK FOR BOTH OF US. WE DIDNT LEAVE EACHOTHERS SIDE FOR A MONTH I WAS SO HAPPY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 15YRS THEN HE WAS GONE AGAIN NO FIGHT OR ANYTHING. NOW IM ALONE AGAIN AND THINKING OF HIM CONSTANTLY BUT HELL NEVER COME BACK, NOT FOR GOOD!!! DONT WANT TO LIVE THIS EXISTANCE ANYMORE!!!!

WHY CANT GOOD PEOPLE FALL IN LOVE WITH GOOD GUYS?????

Thanks all for the good words and encouragement...the more I read the deeper I see the world going through at least much of what I am dealing with to a greater or lesser extent,,,there are people i see everyday who are suffering big time and there is no way out of it,,,and it never was as bad as it has become,,,,national depression is not only a financial condition it can be, and I think it has indeed become part of a national behavioral condition,,with huge numbers of people out of work,, the true numbers are at least double what the published numbers are and it is merely an accounting numbers game how it is calculated ,,,the country is very polarized and not being allowed to heal,,
I feel despite my dark moodiness that I am one of the fortunate ones that are currently dealing without work,,,if I had a family and kids and was in this situation at my age ,,,I don't know what I'd do
and that alone is a scary prospect,,,People are being terminated on the wholesale track,,,and they are no longer considered people but a disposable commodity,,that has been coming for nearly ten years or so...and like a runaway train no one was able or willling to stop before the damage was done,,,now it has slammed into the last station at full speed and the body count is what drives this ecomomy...People have been perverted by the current economic world that has tainted every section of humanity..
The first step is to resolving this is a personal understanding of why things are the way they are ,,and it is not anyone singularly,,,it is so easy to be down and be afraid of the future...I am trying to understand the nature of how I can effectively cope with conditions in which I did not create ,,,it is a struggle sometimes ,,,I am endeavoring to be positive and strong and maintain a good attitude no matter what,,

Depression can trigger a lot of negative thinking. Coming here venting is very helpful. To share and feel loved helps us to work through what we are coping with and as we work on making life better we often begin to feel better too.

We only have to take one small step at a time and we can do it together so we don't have to face it alone.

I hope as you share you begin to feel better.

Gentle ((hugs))
:-) Patricia

Hi,
I can empathize with what you are feeling. Aging is a big transition to begin with. By the time you're 60, if you had any dreams when you were younger, they fade as the future is now. And it's a time when you feel more invisible and therefore cut off from the world. I never thought I'd be living alone and retired at this point in my life. If you were an attractive woman in your 30s, people would often line up to help you or do you a favor. But as your youth fades, I find that I have to ask for help or pay for help which is very hard. I spent most o my time alone, although a lot of my dramatic depression and crises seems to have stabilized and I find I have very good days lately and really do enjoy my own company. I DO miss all the attention though. I feel like I do have a lot to offer, but who's really going to want me at this age.

I used to get depressed about this inevitable transition, but what's the alternative. It's not to exist. And then I think that people, decades ago, used to die before they got to reach thiis time of life transition so it's a new one to be recognized and understood.

I'm rambling, but very often I find myself living in the past which was full of love, friends, laughter, excitement and it makes me a little sad. Guess I'm feeling sorry for myself.

The culture,,and not one found in a test tube ....takes on the relevance of a slug after 60 for many people,,,certainly if you have a family and or have money/resources etc, than things aren't all that bad relatively speaking ,,,It is difficult just getting by at this stage,,,,and it shouldn't be this way.

I am completely disabled and my husband died during my final week of chemotherapy for the advanced stage colon cancer I had surgery for. I now am not able to work or do anything that requires adherence to a schedule because of my disability, not the cancer, that means most of 'life' is out of reach for me now. I have had nine years to work at adapting to this reality and am learning to find a life in spite of the challenges but I have moments where I wonder just how I am to manage - and then after a time I become so overwhelmed and then a 'numbness' sets in and saves the day. Now I just 'go with the flow'. I have times of feeling joy and happiness and even though it is from the numbness that does not allow me to process anymore of the crisis I am now simply happy to have better moments.

Sending you good thoughts for a better life!!

:-) Patricia

Hugs to all of you
yup, life is quite a ride for some of us....probably most of us
I totally get the part about "where am I headed at 55 years of age?"

i too feel ive not come as far as i would of thought. im 41 and all i have is 3 kids w/ 3 different men. never been married. cant hold a full time job down. havent really worked in more then 10 yrs. i was and still am very greatful to have had another baby. she's 16 months, cuz i was surely going down that downward spiral and nothing could stop me except getting preggo. you see my depression and being lonely had me drinking like a 12 pack of beer a day. i was such a mess! i truely wonder how i even got preggo w. that mess of a life. certainly wasnt healthy! but i did get preggo and i feel its been nothing but a blessing. my family werent all so happy about it. but then again they really didnt know the awful mess i was in. ive also a 21 yr old son and a 18 yr old daughter. my son has done nothing but add to my depression. he has made me so misarable! he was in jail two yrs in a row on xmas and he went to jail the day my grandma died, went to jail on my first mothers day w/ the new baby. he didnt even see me till i was 6mo preggo cuz he was in jail for 6mo. well anyways just lettin you know ur not alone. sorry for me writting a book. D.S should have a support group for raising troubled children. well take care!