I'm 48 years old I lost my mother when I was 15 My dad when I was 33 and my brother 2 years ago. My brother committed suicide, he was a police officer. I've experienced depression all of my life, I am a type 1 diabetic and have been one for 40 years. It's tough being without my immediate family, not having someone that close that has no me sense of child not being able to talk to those people. I know that I have other family friends that love me very much they like to comfort me in my times of need, but it's just not the same. I had a very strong bond with my mother and when she passed from cancer it destroyed me. I weighed about 125 right before she passed and then a year later I weighed about 280 lb. My dad who was a great guy a little overbearing but a great guy. My mother knew he would want to remarry because he's never been alone. So she made him promise to wait a year to get remarried. And that is exactly what he did he waited exactly a year and then remarried. I didn't really have a problem with the new marriage. I never seeked any kind of counseling for her death, or his death. Which I think has really caused me to have a lot of problems not only mentally but emotionally and sometimes I feel physically. But ever since my brother died from suicide, it has really been a weight on my brain. I worry that I'm going to have that problem at some point. I am seeing a therapist for my brother's passing. It seems to have opened a lot of doors that I didn't realize were closed for a long time. The problems I've had in my marriage and even my past marriages, they all stem from that. I have been in an institution after his passing. I think that's all I want to say right now. If anybody out there has similar problems to this, just know there's always somebody listening, and always somebody wanting to help. But you'll never get over wanting to talk to that family member or members. Stay strong my community brothers and sisters have a good Saturday.