*bump*

Sorry.. I don't normally "bump" my own posts.. but I really could use some input about whether or not this is something I should send. If anyone wants to help me out but feels they don't know enough about the situation please just ask me for details.

Thanks

My best advice would be to message him back telling him you hold no grudge BUT you are not willing to go through all that again. Wish him well and tell him if he ever gets himself in a 'better' place to drop you a line.

wordy response honestly sometimes less is more....

" message him back telling him that it's okay, that I don't hate him, that I know he is a good person, and that I know he never meant to hurt me and that I forgave him a long time ago and thus have moved on- hopefully he can now too.

Short sweet, less room for continued contact... good luck!

Oh and I agree with wv's observation too...

Hm.. I'll have to think on what you said, Inis.
I wasn't sure how much to say. But as I was thinking about what I should say I felt that the less I said, the more he'd probably question what little I did say, so I figured I should leave nothing to doubt and tell him everything that I think needs to be said. I dunno. Hm. Anyone else have an opinion on this - am I saying too much?

I agree w/ Inis -- if you go into too much detail, it could elicit a feeling of need to contact further.

I would however add that you know you too could have done better in the relationship too, but his fears and suspicions were unfounded.

and that while you will always care for him, you are not interested in revisiting the past and wish him a blessed life.

I hadn't even finished reading the first paragraph of your post and I knew immediately I HAD to reply to you.

My ex and I were together for a little over a year. It started out badly with him trying to kill himself and things never really got much better from there. He and I both had so many problems with ourselves that we didn't realize the new problems we were creating by being together.But I thought I could help him, that I was the only one who truly knew the real him.

I tried, I drove all across TX taking him from college to his dads house and back again, paid for everything, we did whatever he wanted to do, we hung out with his friends not mine, we ate where he wanted to, etc I went along with it all because I thought I was helping. Eventually I came to my senses and realized that all he was doing was controlling me. Finally I worked up the courage to end it and of course he took it awfully. We got back together and broke up again about 13 times before I blocked him from my phone, email, facebook, etc.

Now it's been 2 months since I've talked to him. Of course I have my bad days where I think about him and secretly want to run into him at WalMart so we can start talking again but then I remember that I've grown so much as a person and learned so much about myself, others, and what I want in a relationship.

Any guy that isn't going to treat you right from the very beginning isn't worth your time. You need someone who is going to be honest with you, appreciate you and love you unconditionally.

Take it from me, he's not worth the pain he's going to put you through again. And he will. No matter how many times he tells you it's never going to happen again, he loves you and blah blah blah.... people like our exes don't change, they just find new ways of crawling back into our lives.

I'm in basically the same boat as you and if I were in your shoes, I'd delete the message, block him from everything in my life, and move on and away from him.

It worked for me and I'm a better person for it.

I would respond with a simple answer like " I forgave you a long time ago, I have moved on and hope you can too. Please don't contact me again".
Ban his number and forget him, he is not your responsibility.