Dysthymia, or Neurotic Depression is quite annoying, for lack of a better word. It comes, it hangs around making life a complete anxiety, depressed mess for a while, then it goes away for a while....and then it comes back. Its understanding why you don't want to do this again.

The thing is, although Dysthymia comes back after periods of being find, it's not as severe as other forms of Depression, and that is a blessing wrapped up in this 'life interrupting' illness.

Have you considered trying to plan for when the Dysthymia comes back? Put together a survival kit of sorts, so that your daily and professional life is not too severely compromised by the disease?

I'm not trying to sound silly, or make light of your situation, I swear. We used to have patients do this, so that they could try and get a handle on things easier. We would have them put things in their Survival kit that made them happy, or gave them enjoyment. Movies, preferably comedies, or upbeat ones with happy endings, music that was happy and upbeat. Favorite books, gift cards to favorite stores, so they could go out and buy themselves little things here and there and brighten their days. Have tickets to a pre-arranged Theatre, Concert, or Festival Date with a friend (preferably one who knows about the illness and what your trying to achieve with this date) so that you can enjoy getting out amongst people and enjoy the music or Theatre that you normally do. Even putting in a Special Outfit that you bought when doing well, that will make you feel good. Some of our clients like to put special foods or chocolates in their Survival Kits.

A notebook with your learned Coping Skills, i.e. A Journal, Instructions on how to do Deep Breathing exercises, Coping Skills learned to replace cutting, a red marker and plastic wrap, rubber bands, all to ward off cutting.

Like I said these Survival Kits are meant to have things in it that get you out of the Funk, get you away from the Blah Moods and help you remember what things you enjoy, what types of things make the numbness go away.

I hope that you can find some ideas that might help you. If you need to talk don't hesitate to msg. me.

Take care,

Kat

Thank you, Kat :) I'll definitely try to make one. I know it's not as severe as having actual depression, which is why I kind of hesitated to post this in here. To be honest, this was really all triggered by a former friend, and now, I can't even talk to her because she blocked me in all social media sites and I don't know if I can handle talking to her in real life.

We stopped talking because I was busy, she was bothered by it, and it eventually developed into the current stalemate. I'm not sure why I did it, but I made a ghost account on Instagram just to talk to her. She said that she hated me, and she was glad I got removed from the intensive class (we have a classroom where only the top 30 in math and science are allowed in and I was there for two years before becoming a regular student this year). Just a few weeks before that, we were talking about getting an apartment together and having lots of fun. It's just weird how that can happen all at once. Also, she blames me for everything.

I know that talking to her will fix everything and nothing at the same time. Even if we become friends again, I can never forget what she said.