Honestly, I think it's ok if she does both. It's totally within the normal realm of human emotions to feel upset and depressed after finding out you'd been lied to in such a deep and fundamental way. You'd need some time and probably some help in processing that.

I think once you'd had some time you could be capable of seeing it as a learning experience, but there's nothing wrong with feeling the whole spectrum of emotions after a pretty traumatic experience

I'll weigh in. I would be devastated at first and then I would be pissed. I think it would take some time before I could see it as a learning experience. Right now, I am mad at my Aunt. She is manipulative and a liar. I am not taking her calls. She is in a rehab about an hour away. Her room is really far from the door. I am dealing with an injured knee. She's been in 2 hospitals and 2 rehabs since the end of March. I am tired. She is going to need to have someone to go there and get her stuff. I do not want to be that person. She has kids but they are not in touch with her much. She has no friends. She was trying to lure me there saying that she had something very important to discuss with me. I told her to just tell me on the phone. She said no, no, no. Oh well.

Thanks Sonny! I don't think it would be very human-like to walk away unscathed and chalk a marriage up to a learning experience. What the husband did was a huge betrayal. They had 2 house fires which Dr. Phil saw as suspicious. The husband had nothing to do with the cleanup and went off to his imaginary jobs. Dr. Phil asked him if he caused the fires and he said he didn't. Dr. Phil offered him help because he had fought for our country. I would move on and never look back.

I wouldn't see it as a learning experience. He's a liar, period. Lied to her for years.

Thanks Maria. Dr. Phil said we can't give people the benefit of the doubt. The husband was handsome, spoke openly and wasn't defensive. It would be easy to give him the benefit of the doubt. The wife said she questioned the fireman after the second fire. He assured her that it wasn't suspicious. Dr. Phil said it was extremely unlikely to happen twice. I think the husband was behind the fires. I would be devastated and forever changed if I was the wife.