Right now I am not sure how much more I can take with what is going on around me. There is just so much going on around me and i am just in the middle of it no matter how I try not to be. I am taking care of my mom, who has been out of work with a hurt back, taking care of my two kids, homeschooling my oldest son, trying to get my school work done, kep the house in order and try to spend time with my hubby. I am so ready to scream right now, its not funny. I just want to drive away and not look back at times or not get out of the bed. I have no friends right now, when we moved the friends that I had stopped talking to me like they didnt have to put up with me anymore or like they didnt have a babysitter when they needed one. I didnt go anywhere other than school, the library, the store and to my dads on the weekend to pick up my son and then i was at home all the time. my so called friends would ask me to babysit since i didnt go any where and they knew that. they never asked if i wanted to go or to do anything with them. But now i dont know anyone here where i am at now, just my family, and a few people on th e street but thats all. I am hoping that i can get into the local college here so that i can maybe make somefriends and get out of the house more than i do now. I dont do anything for myself, just get my nails done once a month and then i am back to the house. I dont know what to do anymore.

I feel so alone here and no one to talk to. i moved 5 hours from my dad and sister and 8 hours from my baby sister. I moved to get away from people that was always starting things with my family and starting drama with me and threating me and my family, so we moved 5 hours away to get away from them and get a better life for my kids. But right now, it dont feel any better. i am always worried about the bills, things my kids need, the house and more. i have to get my sons birthday gifts still and with income tax taking longer to get, i am in even a worse place right now. i love to paint and write, but right now i dont even want to do those. i try to write but i just go blank. i cry everynight when i go to bed and i dont know what to do.

Another thing, in 2 months, i will be on my due date for my lil Angel that is in heaven with Jesus that was taken from me just 2 months after we moved. I have no one to talk to either unlike before. I just dont know what to do anymore and i am so lost and i cant talk to my hubby or mom. They dont understand and he dont want to hear it and i know he dont bc he goes to sleep when i am trying to talk to him or he is on his phone and not listening GRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!