Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I've been plagued with intense depression and anxiety, and thought at some point this week that I probably should be in a hospital. I'm doing better today. Part of my stress is that I just don't think I can be honest with people. I finally told my family after about six months of keeping it a secret that I am changing my career plans and that I'm back in college. Part of me wanted to drop out and just go back to work full time due to financial concerns. My parents told me to try to stay the course, so I will. I was much better after I talked to them, I talked to both my mom and my dad separately. It's been a very rocky relationship, but it's gotten better. It made a big difference that I finally decided to call after all these months.
I'm disappointed, I mean I got a part time job being a floater filling in for teachers around the school. It hardly pays what my old job used to but it is something. Part of my problem is that it took me way longer to find a job than I thought it would, and I'm at the end of my money now. I got a message from a principal the other day, they got back to me about a part-time teaching position which I thought would be great. It's like mornings, you just go in and do the work, and then I would come home and get homework done. Problem is, they are ghosting me now. They said they would like to interview me and wanted some time frames, which I gave them, and now crickets. I messaged them back twice. Ghosted again. It's like I expect it now. At least I can work at this other job. It's just so upsetting and contributes to my depression when things like this happen. I was really excited for a minute, I thought it would be the perfect fit and ideal, and they are disappearing. Kind of like dating, which frankly I don't even think I care about anymore. It's the same. The vast majority of people turn out to be not what they portray themselves to be. I'm finding this out with friends and employers too. To say I'm disillusioned is an understatement, I just expect things to fall apart. I'm not sure there's much reason to get hopeful about much. My default is suspicion. Especially after I was seemingly disinvited from Thanksgiving from a friend when I got a rude text. I figured I was being told off so I accepted other plans. They then texted at the last minute about Thanksgiving. I told them I was busy. Screw people.
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
You sound so kind and thoughtful. What kind of teaching experience do you have, and congrats on the job offers.
Remember it’s the Holiday weekend & sometimes responding takes a little more effort as a result of short staff.
I love college work because it stimulated my ability to reach higher power possibilities with my program. Although, I admit I’m not as practical as most when it comes to the use of technology and digital online programs aligned to my learning strategy. I’m all books for tools and elaboration on topics to let it all sink inn. But that’s old school approach.
I just wanted to acknowledge your level of discomfort and try to encourage you by letting congratulating you on your latest work place invitation and success.
Sometimes believing you are worthy is enough from the persuasive employer to hire on the spot at other times they could be testing your level of interest to see if you are fit for the job before the actual hiring process occurs.
It’s all good. Give it time.