Hi I know how you feel. My husband says he understands depression but he doesn't. Unless you have been through it I don't think you can truly understand it. Hugs.

I think it's extraordinarily hard for love ones to understand depression and anxiety. This is not something most people know how to manage from the standpoint of a supporter. I'm kinda concerned that ultimatums and demands being thrown around because that shows a real disconnection.

My family isn't always the best support. To be fair, I don't always know what I want from them so its not for a lack of trying.

I'm a spouse and it's hard. We try to understand but it is still hard. You should see if he is willing to learn more about your condition and helping you cope. Hope it gets better!

He understands, and he doesn't. It took me a long time to get him to understand the chronic nature of depression and anxiety---he understood the basic existence of them, but not how they can become a permanent fixture in someone's life.

He is like most people, perhaps a little more tolerant but then again, only human. When he is super-stressed, I can tell that he is resentful of the fact that I'm not able to do as much as I used to, am not as active and productive, and haven't been able to work for a few years. These conditions have definitely contributed to some financial stress, and that is one of his big buttons.

I have had to seriously modify the way I discuss ANYTHING with him; that's all part of just being with someone long-term, I think. But I've found I have to catch him at just the right time to talk about any of what I'm going through, 'cuz otherwidse, his eyes start to glaze over, and he gets that,"What the hell!?", faraway stare going on.

There are always going to be people who get it, and people who don't. All I can say is, you gotta follow your instincts.

And do not tolerate any kind of abuse for this.

My husband doesn't understand my depression yet he supports me whatever way he can. I, too, don't tell him everything because I think it's too much to put on one person. I've tried to build a network of people who I can talk to when I really need someone to talk to.

I am sorry you are having to deal with this. I am.

I am one of the lucky ones. I was diagonsed with panic disorder 6 plus years ago and it was bad... I didn't drive for over a year. My husband did all of the grocery shopping, picking up my son from lacrosse practice etc. He totally stepped up. He had a few panic attacks years ago so he did GET IT. My sons ( who are now 27 and 21 ) have been so loving and supportive. I know they hurt to see me suffer, but they never loved me any less. I still struggle. I don't like to go out much, but my husband and kids have never been anything but loving and compassionate. My parents , my sisters, my friends have all been nothing but supportive. I know how lucky I am. I do, trust me. you deserve nothing less than compassion and empathy. None of us asked for this and yes, it sucks. I know you are not alone in this. I do understand how hard it can be for our spouses, significant others to deal with what we go through. I wish your boyfriend could try to get more knowledge and understand that we all need love and compassion and support.. Especially from the ones we love. I wish you the very best and again, I think your boyfriend is the one who needs to change his attitude.

Hugs and Peace ~~

LMT

MY spouse is totally in the dark. That is ok. It is my job to understand her. Not her job to understand me. ANd that works. For us, it works.

So there. :P

Thanks guys feel better. Maybe Ill give him a printout and hope he will read it. Its very difficult some days.

have you ever brought him to see your counclor or phicatrist with you because i brought my husband and it made a bog difrence ................it is almost imposible for someone who has never been through depreshion to know what we go through they just have no clue ...............so we have to get them educated on the subject ....................and even than there will be some problems ....even in my family ever so often one of them will say that it is all the meds i take that are goving me problems and i tell them if it wasent for all these meds you could come viset me in the phic ward ..................so they dont say much more ..............i just look after my self and dont worrie what they or eneyone else thinks because i need to get better and that to me comes first ................god bless

I can understand. I pray a lot and lean on God because I feel that my husband is not supportive of my depression...