i undestand.

i understand, i just cant type

Are you convinced though that this will ALWAYS be the case? Something........anything........can happen to make this change. Sometimes even waking up one morning can alter our perspective, without rhyme or reason.

I understand what you mean. I have also been living with that mindset for the last 15 ish years. Yet here I remain, hoping for the change. Hope is a crucial aspect to life. There is always that.

I do understand, I've thought the same way, but in the end I have to say I disagree.

A lot of people would benefit from your dead body, sure. And good for you for being an organ donor. But...those close to you would most certainly not just "move on."

Casual acquaintances might, but loved ones will forever be haunted by your suicided, torturing themslves over what they could have/should have/might have done to prevent it.

And, though I know this is hard to believe, your life can change. You can change it. You can make it a better life for you. THAT'S how you look out for #1.

I'm not discounting your opinion, just sort of continuing the thought process to the conclusion that I came to while thinking the same way. Hope that made sense.

Big hugs to you

I understand too I was moved by your post and to see the amount of pain you feel is heartwretching. My question for you is simply this, Do you really want to leave this world or do you just wish for the pain you feel so deeply to just end?? I have been there and I have contemplated suicide and came close to attempting once from that moment I didn't believe in suicide as the answer. I know it sounds strange but wanting the pain to end is different then wanting to leave this world. Your pain may or may not end if you left this world as we are not 100% sure of what happens to our souls once we leave here. Our soul may be even more tortured then it is currently. God does not promise us an easy life but he does promise us that we will not be given any more than what we can handle with his help. I am not trying to push religion on you but There is a higher power. Leaving your job and wanting to leave your life is completely different You are looking at this as a no win situation meaning you do not believe things can change right? I think things can change if we believe things can change. It requires alot of hard work Think about how much energy you put into being sad to the point you have nothing left. I have been there It hurts less when we hurt ourselves then to have others hurt us. You are a valuable person and you have many people who care about you! Let those people in You are creating such a dark world for yourself that self love is not able to grow. I am here to help you. Please do not think I am criticizing you, because I am not trying to I am just hoping to give you a new perspective Think about how good your life COULD be instead of how bad it currently feels. changing our mindset is hard we did not learn to think negatively overnight and we will not learn to think positively overnight either but there is no better time then NOW as it is all we have:) Many Hugs to you and know I am here for you if you need a friend:)

I do understand, but I feel that way less and less. Even bad days are not as bad as they used to be, because I do feel needed (not always, but most of the time), and that has helped an awful lot.

I also get glimpses now and then of overcoming some aspects of my depression, so I'm glad I hung in there.

I'll take those few, little "goods". I've haven't come this far to throw in the towel just yet.

Hoping you can find something hopeful, because yes, I do know what you're feeling, and my heart goes out to you.

Thanks to each of you for your replies. It's a bit of a relief to know someone out there understands what I'm feeling. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and coping mechanisms. Since I wrote this post I've felt a weight lift off my shoulders, like I was finally able to confess to someone! Just sharing my thoughts made me feel better. And thank you for helping me to look at this from several different perspectives. You guys made such a difference, thank you so much!

Hugs to everyone!
xoxoxo

I understand. Right now it just seems like life doesn't justify itself. Why are we here. What is the point of this meaningless existence?

Hugs, fors....you're welcome.

Ken: That's a doozie. Am still workin on that one, myself. How long have you got? :)

I completely understand. Sometimes I am so hopeless. But, there is always a glimmer of what could be. Fight it as best you can. There IS a light at the end of the tunnel. I am finding my way there, I hope you can too!

I understand, felt that way many many times. I don't live, I just exist. Completely meaningless existence. The struggle to keep going just to experience more pain seems insane. I would like it to end but suicide is much more difficult that some people think. It's not easy to do, it's very scary. And there is the hope factor. Putting off suicide with the hope that just one more day may change things. But oh the hell of living through that one more day. And then at the end of it finding out that nothing did change, it's devastating. So, Yeah, I Understand.

heretic,

You totally get it.

I understand also but damnit... yajust never know when the circumstances will change....


Have you tried all the coctail meds yet? Are you in soundeling? Do you have children? Do you want children?

Thaning can change in a blink of an eye.... If I have to hang in here then I demand that you hang in here also.....

I totally understand that feeling, but from your post it also seems you are thinking about suicide. I can understand that desire more than I wish I did, but I need to ask you to please not do that. Try to talk to the people here, we all understand feeling hopeless and worthless and that life seems pointless. I lost one of my best friends to suicide in 2006 and it still hurts, so before you make that choice please talk to someone, here or otherwise. I am always willing to talk, just message me. I hope things get better and know that people do understand.

if you were a prophet you would know

ASSUMING that you are not, who knows what tomorrow may drag in.

What about starting a life you would enjoy. white sands, blue waves, and an umbrella in a cup. something like that.