Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I was cooped up in my room the last few days. I went into the living room to play with the dog and dad was watching tv. We did talk about the status of my health for a while. Then out of nowhere, he says "Do you have to have purple hair?" It's reddish brown but looks purple sometimes in certain lighting.
I left and talked to my mom. She listened and then went off on a tangent about current events. It's political so not detailing it. I reminded her of something historically significant and she told me to not even bother changing her mind. I wasn't. I was making conversation and I even said that I get why people feel the way they do now about the topic.
So back to my room I go.
I'm not a Mensa member but I honestly feel a lot smarter than my parents. I think about things in a different way. They automatically go to hate on every topic imaginable. My mother closed the door on two women who were different from her and said something in the presence of another at a restaurant. I couldn't tell if the woman heard but I was horribly embarrassed.
They get upset if I spend all my time in my room. Well, look at the results. This outing to the living room and into mom's room were tame compared to past ones where there were enormous fights. And it isn't always politics. It's my hair. It's what I ate for dinner and that I'm making myself fat. The list goes on.
Do they hate me because I'm smarter? (All of us took an IQ test and mine was the highest if that matters. I call it proof.) Because I don't share their ideology? Too open minded? Ironic since my dad is the one that taught me to be this way and to treat everyone equally.
Or am I just a convenient punching bag? I think they hate me because they really hate themselves and I'm a convenient target.
My PT has helped me tremendously. I'm a lot stronger since I started with him and have been walking longer without pain.
I need ECT in 2 weeks. My mood is getting better but some days are just so bad. Don't want to move out of bed, eat, anything. I had ECT in 2014 and it worked, until my back pain caused me to lose my job.
So after that is done and the aftereffects pass, I'm job hunting. Looking for part time jobs, something simple that I can do for now. Something that I can do to get the hell out of this house for a while and save money to move.
Got plans to get out more in the meantime until then but I need to be stronger to stay out longer. Since the PT is helping so much I think I'm going to make a lot of progress by the end of April
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Hi All.... It's great to see all of the new people joining the site... I'm loving it!!...smileI'm not sure if people are aware that if you don't have Bipolar Disorder but have a loved one who has the disorder we do have a board for people to go to in order to share their experiences and seek friendship, support or adviseIt's the Friends and Family of Bipolar Board.... I hope you'll take a...
@Dan_99 Thank you. You're right. They are the most miserable people I've ever seen and I've seen a lot of miserable people. My parents still top the rest.
Your present reality is that you need your parents as a place to stay, and I suspect transportation as well, until you are strong enough to move out. This kind of make it necessary to co-exist with your parents. They may or may not change their attitude, but you can change yourself. I know that it can be hard.
Get a thick skin and learn to take their barbs in stride. Deflect or disregard their comments as best you can. Purple hair? Well dad, at least I have hair! or Well dad, it is only the angle of the light that makes it look purple. Learn to change the direction of your mother's conversation. ANd yes, you may have to endure far more disrespectful conversation than you want.
But all of this will help you get to your goal of independence.
I am curious about a couple of things.
ECT is usually used as a last ditch, nothing else worked, life saving treatment. You don't sound like your in that lane....yet you casually talk about having ECT in a few weeks, etc. I've done 3 cycles of ECT totalling 4 months the last time I was in patient and its what saved my life. I was so depressed taking a breath in the morning or opening my eyes was too much effort. You don't seem that bad off. I'm curious why you're doing ECT instead of just normal meds and Therapy?
I'm also curious why if you're so much smarter than your folks you don't live on your own and have a job?
I'm sure your parents don't hate you, they sound like they have their routine and their life is in the routine rut that their comfortable in, I doubt there's much you could do to change it if you tried.