I wouldn't say I had any childhood trauma... I was very detached as a child... The only thing that I remember really being "traumatic" was a period where me and my family were living in Brazil. My step-father began drinking and he was a violent drunk, when I was 15 however I took the drastic route when he tried to break into my sister's room to beat her... I grabbed a little statue from a shelf and beat him half to death with it. Even so after I was done and everyone left him there... I just went back to my apathetic, uncaring being. Don't know if it's having any effect now but it might be the root for my angry moments.

I like what you're talking about here. You sound like you have a lot of ideas to help people in similar situations.....I think I might have already told you my story.....Good for you for trying to help.

I had a lot of trauma as a child. I'd rather not go in to specifics.

Yes, my bio-father beat the crap out of me from when I was 4 until I knocked his ass out at MY home after I was married for yelling at my kids, my mother was emotionally and psychologically abusive (she claimed that I was an accident and the product of a cheap bottle of wine) and blamed me because she and my bio-father divorced for all of their marital problems and my siblings can't stand me. I have no contact with my family of origin and I have no friends in any other way, either because I have become emotionally and psychologically distant. In short, I am not very nice to be around because I am a perfectionist and intolerant of idiotic, inane or just plain stupid behavior.

Yes, what you say is indeed true, I think it does cause a bigger risk, I was traumatised as a child, but I like to think I'm working on moving on.. :) good post and its nice your helping others

Hi, brock. Yeah, it was mean, nasty, hostile kids picking on me from the 4th to 6th grade. They made my life a living hell. Then in 7th grade, I met a guy who was really weird and really cool in his laid-back, don't-give-a-shit about "fitting in" in school or what "society" thinks. He changed my life.

Thanks for bringing this up.
I have had a disturbed childhood, but pushed away the memories into the dark recesses of my mind, because they hurt so much.

But you are right, they have influenced who I have become, and colored my realtionship with others. My mother was diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic, and we (my sister and I ) underwent a lot of trauma, persecutions. I never speak of this to anybody.

It probabaly has a lot to do with my being an incomplete human being.
I forgave my mother for all she did to me, because she couldnt help it, in spite of therapy and medications.

I had a very emotionally abusive childhood. I was locked in a cupboard at age 3 for a few hours while my crazy nanna was babysitting me, my parents knew about it but didnt really comfort me over it and still after that let my nan babysit me. My father as a kid also used to lock the door, and as a teenager as well so I couldnt go out cos I wasnt doing what he wanted me too. My parents were are extremely controlling, critical, undermining people. I was never allowed to just 'be myself' as a kid, I had to be moulded into their idea of what they wanted. I grew up very confused about life and thought something was wrong with me. I never knew it was abuse though as it wasnt sexual or physical. Really only post age 21ish did I realise that emotional abuse was a thing. In my life I could never grow up properly, and I still feel Im learning about myself and growing up now in my 30s.

I can relate, I had a very abusive upbringing, I witnessed extreme violence, my drug addicted father abandoned our family after he served time for trying to kill my mother in front of me, my screams lead neighbors to call 911. I was then raised by just my mom, but she was not right after that day, she became severely mentally ill and began drinking, she physically and emotionally abused me well into my adulthood. My past has absolutely carried over into my adult life. I ended up in two abusive relationships before I was even out of high school, I faced drug abuse, I struggled daily with mental illness and threw away a lot of great opportunities, I even dropped out of college despite a 4.0 GPA...I just couldn't handle life and how I felt, by 21 I tried to completely give up and overdosed on drugs, fortunately I was revived by paramedics and got a second chance at life. I went on to work hard, leave my abusive home life and get married, but it was not until I developed a chronic illness that I decided I needed help. I started therapy and began dealing with my past, today I'm fairly stable and happy with life, it's forever a work in progress, but I feel really fortunate to be where I am today and I feel confident that I can put my past behind me.

I've come to the conclusion that most people with eating disorders and chronic depression and other dysfunctional problems were shaped that way by bad stuff in their childhood, unhealthy minded parents and sometimes abuse. I had a happy childhood til about age 10 and then it's like the sickness I was living with began to take hold.

I began having panic attacks and gradually sank into depression and anxiety I've battled with off and on for the next 20 years. My parents are about as toxic and backwards as two people can be without being horribly abusive and my older brother was really abusive to me. I read and believe that if people's personality disorders are severe enough sometimes the damage they cause others near them can be as bad as if they are really abusive.

That was my parents. No specific tramautic experience happened, just a chaotic and miserable environment day after day and I'm still trying to undo some damage years later.

Just as I expected! I do believe that good can come from the bad if we work at it but damn. It's crazy that by the time you're 18 and are finally given independence and freedom to design your life, not only did you have to experience all the bullshit but it continues.

I absolutely hate that, because I'm guessing most of us hating our parents, hated our situation, and just wanted out. It is/was hard as hell for us and yet we get these rich entitled people who they earned everything they have. They say we just don't work hard enough. My god, our entire being has been affected.

There's a 10 questions adverse childhood test below. I got a 7/10 they say anything at or above a 4 in serious, if you're willing I'd be interested in your scores.
http://adversechildhood.com/what-is-your-ace-score/

I just want to say I'm proud of all of you for your accomplishments in life, I know they don't come easily.

Best,
Brock

Thanks for posting the questionnaire Brock. I got a 9/10, the only one I could not answer yes to was sexual abuse.

Mine was 6. I was so severely depressed as a child that I had no thoughts or much of a memory of how I felt.

My goodness to both of you, I think we're on to something...

mine was a 9

I had a horrible childhood..It makes people sick actually.