Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Did I do the right thing?

BlueYonderDreams
BlueYonderDreams
I have a friend on the internet that I consider a very good friend. He is very caring and has been supporting me through the loss of my father and my depression.

I believe he is also suffering depression from the things that he has told me about himself. I think his is milder compared to mine, but many things he has told me are symptoms of depression.

I don't think it ever even dawned on him that he has depression even as he told me he deals with some of the same things as I do.

I tried to casually bring it up once and he said it might be depression but then changed the subject.

I know he suffers from insomnia and today he told me he gets tension headaches frequently.

It worried me because I would hate to see someone suffer like I have. His depression doesn't seem quite as severe as mine, but it is effecting him physically and I worry it might eventually worsen if he doesn't get help.

So I told him today I think he is dealing with depression and I feel that he should get help, but I feel so awkward for confronting someone over depression. I have a feeling he is not going to listen and I am not sure how he is going to react.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You should not feel bad, it did it out of love and concern for your friend. If it helps great, if not no harm done.
gramybear
gramybear
It's understandable that you want to help your friend and I'm sure he is going to appreciate the fact that you care enough for him as a friend, to try and help. It's hard to know how he will react, but you told him how you felt from your heart. I hope he sees what a good friend you are to him.
noodlebg
noodlebg
I hope your friend will see your thoughts as being compassionate and
caring....
I dearly wish I'd had a friend like you when my own had spiraled down
so much years ago.

Your friend is so fortunate to have you in his life....
deleted_user
deleted_user
You took action based on a human hearted feeling. I don't think you were "wrong" to do so. But I don't think you were "right" either. I think we do what we think "works", and avoid doing what will not "work". It is not a question of right and wrong. It is a question of listening to our hearts. ]

Just my opinion. Peace be with you.
BlueYonderDreams
BlueYonderDreams
Thank you all for responding. I tried explaining that I just did not want to see him suffer like I am suffering so I hope he understands. So far there has been no response, but it's early.
chelle37
chelle37
I think he's lucky to have a friend who cares enough to confront him in a loving way. It takes courage to do that, and many people won't put themselves out like that even for a friend. I think you definitely did the right thing even though it was hard.
BlueYonderDreams
BlueYonderDreams
My friend responded to me. He took it really well, but I think he is in denial.
gramybear
gramybear
I'm glad you got a response, that must have made you feel better. Maybe in time, you can help this person get out of the denial he is in. It's amazing how helpful a true friend can be to us. Hugs
deleted_user
deleted_user
Well you do have to consider that he may not have it and it's not denial but you have thrown it out there just in case. Still you can be there for him without an 'I told ya so' He will appreciate you've been there either way.
etherize
etherize
I think *in general* it's harder for men to admit they have depression. A lot of men initially think it's a weakness, like they should be able to "just handle" things, or "just get over it."

So it may take him awhile to admit it. But I think you did a very loving thing by bringing it up to him. If he doesn't want to talk about it, or admit it, then I wouldn't mention it again. But personally, I think you did the right thing.
BlueYonderDreams
BlueYonderDreams
gramybear - It was a huge relief when he responded well. I would definitely like to help him if I can. Maybe if I tell him about my progress as I go through therapy he might not see it as a bad thing.

Peppers - You're right it's possible he doesn't have it. The reason why I feel he is in denial because he always seems to be unhappy and stressed out. He is always complaining about insomnia and feeling ill, but as soon as I mentioned depression he tells me he is quite happy. I understand I am not a professional and it's his decision. I would never tell him I told you so if he did find out he had it. I just don't want to see a friend suffer.

etherize - Thank you. I think you are right about men.
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