I'm in your shoes also, older w/very little family and a lot of people I knew are now out of the picture due to different life events. I do have one daughter, but she's not a strong type of person so I have no idea how she would be if I got ill. She's 28 years old and not married or dating either. It's just me and her.
All I can tell you is to try not to think about it. I don't. Take life one day at a time, otherwise it's too depressing. Don't torment yourself. Try to find or create good things in your life and enjoy those.

I can relate i think...

Coping with my mother's decline has been stressful,my brothers won't help her and i am a province away.

I never had kids either,and i used to have this vision of being put in some really horrible nursing home when i got older,and being there all alone.

I guess...we just need to take things one day,often one moment at a time,and try not to see the future as so ominous...tough to do at times i know.

Just know, you are not alone here.
Keep expressing your thoughts and feelings and let us help you to process them.

sending gentle hugs

I am single and my family is just few who will do nothing to help uncle bill....so I am fending for myself....I do know when the time comes that medicaid will allow me to go to the nursing home if need be,....I probably should make that decision unless the neices and nephews step up to send me there...I doubt my sister and maybe brother in law that are alive now but both older than me will be able to fill in anything in helping me because they might be dead already....who knows....I do not think about it too much...

Bebe my girlfriend has been paying on extended care insurance for a while now and she will get to choose where she goes and it will not wipe her out.....

Thanks for the replies. I feel less alone. I think taking one day at a time is a good idea. I've most of my life that way. Planning is good too if you can. the extended care insurance is good but I don't think I can afford it. Maybe look into some more.
It's interesting that even when people have people in their lives they may not be there for them anyway for one reason or another. I have two siblings but if the past means anything at all they aren't going to help me or care. I appreciate the support here and encouragement to keep writing and expressing myself. My dad doesn't even want me to call him so but he's still my dad.

Trigger warning!
I think many of us are in the same boat. I dont even want to live all that long because of this.
I actually talked to an old friend today and told him pretty much the same thing.
I know he did not like hearing that. Maybe I should not ever said it, but its my truth and my situation. He has kids and grandkids, so I can see why he is worried about his health. My only worry about my health is that I wont suffer long when illness does strike.
I wish I had something more positive to say, but its my truth, my situation.
I have some family so I am not completely alone and that is good. I do appreciate what I do have! That being said, all except one are older than I, quite a bit old in fact.
If all of us older loners could move in together on our own terms maybe that would be ok, but the thought going into a state run or even a private run institution is a nightmare!!!!
I sure dont have the money for any place very close to decent so I figure it would be best to exit this world fairly soon :( Depressing yes, but there is not a better alterative in my view. In fact after writing this and thinking about it, it might be a good ideal to make some kind of exit plan.

Keith, sorry that this brought up such bad feeling for you. I think that the one day at a time advice I got on here was good. Even for us older people, we don't really know what's around the corner.

I thought I posted this but I dont see it here now
Its not your fault I am thinking this way, its something I have thought about for a long time now.
You're right, there is nothing wrong with one day at a time and doing the best you can. I do try to do that everyday, but in the end there is the reality that I must face and its better to have that in mind now than wait until its right upon me. I will try not to dwell on it, Its more in my mind now because I have been sick.
I just wanted to say its not your fault at all!

Ok, thank you for saying that. I understand what you are saying. Yes, being sick brings it closer to home. I have dealt with that recently, too.

I wouldn't worry about it. First, there are state paid nursing homes that are fine, and if you have say 200-500,000 you can blow through it in a year. My parents lived to their 80's and 90's in reasonably good health till the last year, both walked on their own, and passed away. So don't worry about this stuff, enjoy life.

My dad ended up going to a nursing home for his own safety in many ways.

Since he was a ... for a lack of a better word contractor. He knew how to work on many things. In the year leading up to him going into the nursing home he turned his gas furnace into a flame thrower because he was trying to work on it and he forgot to turn off the gas. Luckily i was there to get it taken care of but he could not be left alone because he kept taking things apart to try and fix it when it wasn't broken.

For example the toilet wouldn't flush but instead of checking the toilet he wanted to dig up the back yard with the back-hoe. It of course was the old toilet because i pulled it and there was no liquid in the pipes under it and i put in a new toilet and it hasn't had a problem since. The old toilet had lime buildup in the tube that flushes so the water could not get the speed up to actually flush anything or have room to push it through.

When he heard i was going to take a job in another town he had a sharp decline because he got depressed and the parkinsons got very bad. I got a call that he was running in the road flagging people down (my mom called me she was trying to get him to come back into his house they do not live together but were neighbors) I got back to find him completely upset because I was dead on the floor. No matter what i said he was convinced i was dead but even with me in front of him he still insisted i was dead.

After that we had to put him in a home unfortunately. I am not happy that he was there i was wanting him to pass away in his sleep at home but it didnt' happen. Sometimes older individuals just need more care than their family can provide.

You said " vs. that they are mistakes or just wanting to have a family in general. "

Family is amazing i would not be here without them. It is never selfish to have a family and THEY ARE NEVER MISTAKES!! Why people are now moving to not having families and the destruction of the nuclear family is beyond me.

There is a lot of sacrifice that goes into having family. There is a lot of struggle. But it is ALWAYS worth it.

wow. It's really hard to care for a loved one but harder still I think to watch them decline and yeah, it gets us too, 'cause damn, we're not that far away from old ourselves.. I have four children who are about half grown in mtheir20s and 30s. It seems to me that our kids watched us struggle and sacrifice and many of us came up empty handed anyway and they're disillusioned. Life will teach them what they need I hope and maybe the uncertainty of the future will bring them home. (Here's hoping).