I understand how you feel. I have had issues my entire life. I like yourself am up in age. You are not alone. I tried different meds in my life time and I felt worse not better.

There are many people here to give you support day to day. You may want to post on the general board as many people avoid the crisis boards because it may be a trigger for them.

Reach out and many good people will reach back.
Good luck and hugs to you.

You Are Not Alone Sweetheart.

Sending ((((((HUGS))))) And Hope

Thanks guys for responding.

I understand, I am 53 also and have been depressed all my life. I live in my car and have no prospects for things improving. I I don't eat well or shower, I just wish I was dead every day. I hope things improve for you.

I also stay in bed a LOT. I sleep continually and watch tv in bed when my mood is low. I also have days where I don't leave the house. My medicine works some but is not perfect. I can truly relate to you

I can relate to how you feel with this depression and anxiety. I haven't felt well in years now. Jus know your not alone and a lot of us here are going through the same. Its tough dealing with this illness. I jus take day by day. Meds only do so much. hugs

I know how you feel. I used to sit inside the house on the computer. Only getting off to go to sleep or make food. I'd make the food but I would be sitting at the computer again as soon as it was dished up. I hid inside this box. I made all sort of excuses not to leave the house. I lived my life fearing everyhting. I hated myself, my family didn't want to be around me. I was living with my folks and my mom was about ready to kick me out. I stressed so bad I got sick if I had to be away from the computer. In short, I was a hot mess. Then I started to do research... finding foods that boost the seratonin in the brain naturally. Found out that cashews and almonds are a great source of it. Since I love those I would get a big bag or can and have a handful a few times a day. Oh and sunflower seeds too are helpful. Do you have any passioins? Mine is art and animals.

Morning, countrygirl, my dear friend. I'm so sorry I haven't been more available. My baby sister, 10 yrs younger than me, lives in Florida, whereas I live in Midwest- she tried to kill herself Wednesday last week and my entire focus has been dealing with her and her doctors to get her the best help possible. She has a 13 yr old and a 5 yr old, who know nothing of what is happening, as they have been with their dad most of this year, so far. I just wanted to let you know that I am still here for you, and I'm sorry that most of my attention has been elsewhere. Please keep in touch, as I love our chats and miss you bunches. Hope you are feeling a little better today- Coming from a family of depression, I understand your struggles and I am greatful that you are reaching out, and not internalizing or alienating yourself. Keep reaching...we are here for you.
Much love, hugs and prayers, my dear friend!

Sleep has always been my panacea for everything. Always. I like to sleep.When I'm asleep I dont hurt.

It's ok you aren't alone and of course meds didn't work...they don't anyways. Try doing some meditation if you can, everyone should do it and it can change your life for the better. :)

I have suffered from depression from time to time during my childhood, but never like this before. I have a room mate that can make me feel like a child at times. I have fibromyalgia and have been diagnosed as Schitzoeffect Personality Disorder. (Sorry if I spelled that wrong) and that on top of the fact he doesn't believe in Fibromyalgia is bad. He thinks it's all in my head. We do get into arguments sometimes and I tell him that I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy. And I mean it. This is the worst pain I've had to go through and I was diagnosed in April of 2000. So 14 years of it is more than enough.

I've asked him if he would like being in pain everyday? Having no energy, and the chronic fatigue? He has no response but to tell me that I couldn't do his job...I tell him he's 100% right. I couldn't do his job. But I don't like being in pain each day, or tired or anything else this fibromyalgia comes with. I was already depressed...the fibromyalgia just makes it worse. Days where I cry all the time and wanting to crawl into a hole and just go away from everyone and everything. I know that others have it worse than I do. And I also have sympathy for them as well. No one should have to live with this depression. I've been hospitalized for it over 5 times.

I'm sorry, I was diagnosed with Schizoid Personality Disorder. Sorry for the misspelling.

Thanks to all who replied. It really does help that I am not alone in the mental disorder, although I feel like I am. No one can seem to relate on the outside and they treat me like I am a nut.

I need friends who can relate.

I can so relate to all of what has been said here. I am 53, as well. Lap top is my world. I can barely go to work, home is a mess, barely able to pay bills and have only this as a healthy support system, of which I just found. My heart goes out to you, hoping things have gotten better for you since this post. Lifting you up today, may you experience the goodness of light and love in your heart today. You are so deserving of the beauty of life, we all are, no matter our past, no matter what has happened to us...grace and goodness belong to everyone...hugs to you...

Your post has provided me with some comfort. It is my first night on this sight and I have never spoken with anybody going through the exact same thing. I am turning 34 in two weeks and have been going through this for over 20 years. Have tried everything....and am going through ECT right now. It is not working but sometimes I try to convince myself that it is, I prayed so badly that it would save me. I have the occasional good day but most are either sleepless or spent sleeping all day, I can barely function, cant get excited about the things I should be, I finally stopped trying to talk to people about it. Sometimes I don't even have the energy or strength to watch TV. I am SO sorry you have been going through this for so long....nobody deserves this pain....