Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Do you ever feel like you have so many negative things going on in your life that you are literally walking in darkness, removed from regular reality, that you've entered some kind of alternative universe where there is no more light or hope, just pain and isolation and fear? I've felt that way for about the last year. Since my cancer diagnosis and I'm sure that has something to do with it and how poor my health has been but also it's the cruelty and sadism of my family especially in this dark time of my life, when instead of reaching out to support and relieve me from strain, they just keep piling it on. I don't see how I can ever come out of this. Maybe death will bring peace which is what I've kind of always thought but lately, I wonder. I have this disturbing feeling that this torment will never end. It's almost not of this world, you know? Has anyone ever felt that way? Best wishes to all of you out there struggling. I hope you never have felt this way. It's kind of like having one foot in the living and one foot in the dead. Very disconcerting. Thanks for being there. I feel the most at home and supported on this site.
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
For years now I have
Highlights as to contributing factors:
Diagnosed with an incurable nasty disease 2007. Between then and about 2016 overperscribed meds that helped the condition but added other misery. 2019 the mother of my Son picked up a new person. By 2020 she left and took the kids. 2017-2019 I got a new doc who got my medical stuff straight to where I was me again but it was too late. I learned the ex is a covert narcissist. She has made things really difficult for me with the kids. Family Court went for 2 years and was horrible. I'm seeing a new lawyer tomorrow because ex violates the order faster than most people change underwear and has been working overtime to alienate my Son from me. The few people in my life are struggling with serious life s***. My parents are 84 & 87 and in poor health. My go to friend had a psychotic break- in and out of psych ward. Two of my closest people have cancer and getting worse
Yes. For 4 years the extreme anxiety has burned my insides out from the cortisol overload. But now I'm starting to not even feel. I sort of get what you're saying
I used to be here back in 2007. Left for a long time. Am glad to see the site still is a safe place for people like us
I wish peace and love for you both/all
Yes, I have felt that way, and I think that I feel what you are saying when you express that the suffering has an infinite quality to it, and a spiritual component.
As far as the family situation, mine is very similar. My parents and my brother physically abused me for years and one thing that I found was very helpful was all but ending my relationship with them. This seemed nearly impossible, but I did do it.
I had a health scare last year and had to have surgery. It was a fairly serious condition, thankfully there was no cancer though they did suspect. I didn't tell my family anything until I met up with them after and they saw the scar. Needless to say they were surprised, but like you, they offer nothing but problems and stress so I left them out of it.
Do you have anyone else in your network?
Mars