how can I help you in this?

I don't know, bill.
I don't anything rt now
Except I'm hurting.
I feel so abandoned by the one person who was supposed to help me.
My therapist.

Months ago she asked me to do all this tracking on paper,
Moods in 4hr increments, sleep, caffeine, exercise, nutrition.
I've done it all faithfully 8weeks on moods, 6 on everything else
But when we finally met back up .....she didn't even look at it even though I offered it.

She wanted to ask intake questions like family history, iv I own or rent , stupid stuff like that. Talking about "social anxiety" that I was first referred to her for 2 years ago

Last session she was talking about BPD and mild bipolar and more than trauma.
But today it's like the last 2 years didn't happen.
I'm confused.
And feel betrayed and abandoned by the one person I thought.....I trusted to actually see me....help me.

Big hug sweetie

Tracking what's been going on is for your sake Kikio

I can remember being asked to journal by a pdoc and I was surprised by
some of what I read later
I dudn't remember
the thoughts and
feelings

I'm zorry that you're hurting so much

This is the illness of depression and it really sux at times

Please remember that it's a treatable illness and it can lie ti you because you do matter
You matter a lot

Another big hug of peace and support...xo

Can you try bringing this to her attention? Say hey can we talk about all this work I did like we discussed? I can see why you feel the way you do. I'm sorry you're going through this. Hugs

Those are some false statements that you made. Let me remind you that you are God's child and you matter just as much as the rest of the world.

Kikio,

I am so sorry to hear how you are feeling about the way your therapist has been dealing with you. May I suggest you try a different therapist? It really sounds to me like the person you described is not doing her job adequately or professionally. I also suffer from depression and multiple other mental health issues, and deal with negative thoughts all day, every day. Sometimes I can't even get out of bed ... other times I feel as if my life no longer has any value or purpose. But ultimately, I know that most of what I am feeling is a result of my own self-loathing and feelings of guilt and inadequacy, and I am trying very hard to change my thought patterns to focus on positive things and improved self-image. Every day is a struggle, but it does help to research online the issues I'm dealing with. Usually I discover that there are loads of other people out there who are suffering from the very same issues that I'm going through, and it helps to learn ways in which they are dealing with it, too. I think forgiveness is so important, for yourself and the others in your life.

I agree with Suncloud...the tracking is a way for you to see where you are, what's happening in your life and what might be triggers.

Remember we are changing seasons, lots of times mood changes...Depression is Horrid...I Live Depression For Years Now...no medication helps me...my cycles are either stop or go...more stop lately.

Like you Nothing Seems Right about me, my life, or anything...the only thing that really helps is "gratitude'.... those pep words are bs to me and do nothing...I can only think about how Blessed I am right down to having hot water, clean water to drink a roof over my head...

You are Worthy Because You Are Alive, I Wish For You Strength, Peace and Healing as you are a kind person, and I believe you will find your way...I remember you from way back with KeepSwimming, Helpinghands, Weeble and Wobble. Hugs...keep posting so we can keep you company <3

Thank you everyone.
I'm still struggling just to function but I'm still alive.

I've been writing a letter to my therapist to give her my next appointment to explain these things as politely and thoroughly as I can.

She had asked me to do the tracking to assist in determining if I was BPD, cyclothymic or both.

But then it was like she forgot all of it and went backwards 2 years to "social anxiety"
It's so confusing and frustrating.

I also put in a request to see the phyciatrist.

I'm so glad you'll be seeing a psychiatrist

They're experts in pzych meds sweetie and the right med can make a huge difference in your life...xo

We are all rooting for you. I watched a 10 minute video today about the brain and Dr. Daniel Amen's work with brain scans, recommendations as to food and supplements and saying that you can change your brain at any time of your life. Dr. Amen is awesome! Does anyone want me to add the link to the video?

P.S. I would recommend Melodie Beatty's book called "The Language of Letting Go". A friend of mine swore by this book and gave me a copy. Mine got ruined so I had to throw it away. You can find it on eBay!

Id love to see your link green eyes
I'll look up the book to I do a lot of reading (,I work in a library)