Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I am in a long-term (10 months) relationship. I miss the excitement of new romance. I know that I used to use the excitement about all kinds of new things to distract myself from my depression. I think it's actually one of the healthier things I do. I'm young. I'm supposed to have new experiences every now and then. (E.g. I moved to a different country. Not just for the excitement though.)
I have two homes (my apartment and his apartment) and something that feels more like a family than anything I ever had. Our relationship went quite quickly so that I met all of his friends and he met most of mine. We're busy people so in order to make time for each other it made more sense to hang out with friends as well.
This isn't just love. It's home, family and friendship. I rely on him in everyday life.
I'm not sure but I think this is what a love story looks like when everything goes well.
Maybe it's just PTSD. It's a bit this that I used to be able to escape my problems better than now. Problems that very well may never end. It's not just about having a bf, it's about a lifestyle. In the long run almost everybody choses stability and reliability over excitement and (in parts) freedom. Of course all of these things are usually present in a person's life, I'm just describing a general tendency. I am not sure where my comfort zone regarding those values lies and I'm not sure where I would be happiest. To make an example other than boys, let's take the perhaps biggest example of me chosing reliability and stability over passion. I am a musician and also I've always wanted to become an author. Instead I am now studying to become a nurse. It's not a bad choice. But I've never even tried making a bit of money from my music or sent a novel or a short story to an editor to see how they'd react. I feel disappointed in myself for not even giving my dreams a chance even though they very well might work out. I don't want to be famous, just want to make ends meet.
To get back to boys... My ex is releasing his second album. It hurts when he is the one who had the courage to pursue his dreams and is being quite successful on top of that. I also wonder if him being that very passionate but highly unstable person might not have been the worst match for me. We were disastrous in the end but at least there was passion. Also keep wondering if some of the songs might have been inspired by me. Wouldn't be the first time. This my friends is why you shouldn't check up on your ex. Another theory is that I was overcompensating by dating my current bf who has always been nothing but reliable and organized but also somehow really.. normal. But also it's normal to find flaws in people you've spent more time with.
My biggest nightmare is to miss my life.
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Hi All.... It's great to see all of the new people joining the site... I'm loving it!!...smileI'm not sure if people are aware that if you don't have Bipolar Disorder but have a loved one who has the disorder we do have a board for people to go to in order to share their experiences and seek friendship, support or adviseIt's the Friends and Family of Bipolar Board.... I hope you'll take a...
What that will give you is a life where nothing is ever good enough for very long. Relationships will not last long enough, because they will level off and turn into everyday regular life relationships. Jobs will not be kept long, because they'll get boring and dull and you'll want to go find a new exciting job. Friends will not be kept, because they'll get tired of trying to always keep up with your need for new and exciting and you'll get tired of them being okay with settling down in life.
You are young, 21 is pretty young, you've got a whole life ahead of you....the good thing is, you've not had too much time to cement this Behavior into your brain as the way to fix your Depression. Its better to actually do the things that need to be done to Treat the Depression, i.e. see a Psychiatrist, form a Treatment Plan, see a Therapist, learn your Triggers, learn safe, healthy coping skills. These things will let you live life with Depression and still be okay with the fact that everything doesn't have to be new and exciting. Its okay to be settled into a life of familiar and stable and it's perfectly possible to be happy that way.
I hope you find your way to a Treatment plan that helps you not have to miss your life.
Take care,
Kat
As for relationships.. if I didn't value reliability and stability I would never have entered a long-term relationship. Or I would have left. My real point is that those values should find an equilibrium that best suits me. Thinking about leaving a relationship and doubting it is not the same as leaving it. I live by a mentality where everything can be questioned and not just taken for true or untrue. I actually did not want to sound like I didn't value my boyfriend or friends. Actually by saying that he is my home and my family and my friend I meant to say that he is very important. Having a home where I don't fear for my safety and where I am not alone is also a new experience and not one I've grown tired of or probably ever will. Funny enough, when I make new exciting experiences I enter into a safe life I didn't have as a child that might never feel normal to me. Something is missing in the relationship nevertheless and it might very well be excitement and if I was more certain of it I'd tell him and we'd talk about it.
So yeah as stated before my post was about the fact that I haven't found the right amount to value excitement vs stability. There isn't even necessarily something wrong with any of my relationships, I just haven't given a lot of things a try and have been chosing a safe life because I'm emotionally scarred and terrified of many things. It's not that this would ever be a bad choice. But maybe if you keep making it in every single situation, then it very well is.