Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Hello,
Thank you for having this board.
I have been working with a new coach/therapist and making a lot of changes. She currently has me in no contact with my family as the arguing and hostility going on there is really overboard. Obviously I am feeling disconnected, but generally much better. The fact that I am so disconnected from them has always led me to cling to other relationships and, well, drain the life out of them.
I don't think that is what I am doing currently, but I'm in conflict that a relationship that I don't want to end, because they have been like a family to me. But, I am losing my patience with the husband half of the couple. (I am female). Sometimes, he is getting on my last nerve. For every one time I initiate contact with them, it seems like he initiates several. It's nice to have people that care...but...he calls at 11:30 at night!!! And, I get up before dawn to get to work. He has been calling like at 10:00 and later for stupid stuff, such as just to say "hey" or to ask me for a favor for the following day.
I was so mad that he woke me up the other night that I didn't call back, that following evening he called me the minute I was off of work, to ask me again for the same favor. I told my coach that I was really running out of patience. And she said I am short fuse right now. I know that he knows that I am putting distance in....but I feel like if I am talking to him too much, she might not like it for one, and that it just comes off almost as possessive to me. I've been friends with them for a very long time, but yet I am just so annoyed sometimes.
Thank you for having this board.
I have been working with a new coach/therapist and making a lot of changes. She currently has me in no contact with my family as the arguing and hostility going on there is really overboard. Obviously I am feeling disconnected, but generally much better. The fact that I am so disconnected from them has always led me to cling to other relationships and, well, drain the life out of them.
I don't think that is what I am doing currently, but I'm in conflict that a relationship that I don't want to end, because they have been like a family to me. But, I am losing my patience with the husband half of the couple. (I am female). Sometimes, he is getting on my last nerve. For every one time I initiate contact with them, it seems like he initiates several. It's nice to have people that care...but...he calls at 11:30 at night!!! And, I get up before dawn to get to work. He has been calling like at 10:00 and later for stupid stuff, such as just to say "hey" or to ask me for a favor for the following day.
I was so mad that he woke me up the other night that I didn't call back, that following evening he called me the minute I was off of work, to ask me again for the same favor. I told my coach that I was really running out of patience. And she said I am short fuse right now. I know that he knows that I am putting distance in....but I feel like if I am talking to him too much, she might not like it for one, and that it just comes off almost as possessive to me. I've been friends with them for a very long time, but yet I am just so annoyed sometimes.
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I invited Bill to have dinner with me last Sunday. He wasn't willing to drive 7 hours to mid Michigan and teased me with his beautiful ribs!!! So, of course I ate alone and had cedar salmon
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
He will be doing two different things, so learn to look past the words, and into the when and how. Most guys who cheat will say they're just being innocent as they move in on you. They use words like a magician's sleight of hand, to get your focus while the things they actually DO go unnoticed because they jar with what's being said.
In short: don't be naive with this guy, because he's not being naive with you.
And good on you for the counselling and the stepping back from the family. I had to do that too. It did come right, and made my life a whole lot better. I now have a much better and more balanced relationship with them, and they've adjusted to what my boundaries are. I wish I'd done it 20 yrs earlier.