Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
My wife was happy and self-sufficient for 30 + years of marriage, received outstanding reviews as a nurse, retired, was happy with a nice schedule with her friends, then we decided to move there were challenges with a tough real estate market, and all hell broke lose, she had serious anxiety, depression, self-blame, inability to make decisions, and after living in the same house for 30 years we were in 8 different rentals and family homes, with a fair number of challenges. My wife still has disabling depression and anxiety, is unfortunately anti-drug, and does not open quickly in therapy.
We have 3 sons who are loving and concerned. My liked to call them during the day to relieve her anxiety, but their working and they note no problems are solved. You tend to get this, mom- I should have gotten help earlier, I made a lot of mistakes, son, let's go over what to do now, you should select furnishing, get on an exercise problem, let's go over nutrition mom- you're right and I should have gotten help earlier, I made a lot of mistakes. They feel there's no a productive exchange, and little is accomplished, they'd like to get a schedule.
How I get her motivated in the morning.
When someone is struggling, like your wife is, they already know they are falling behind.
Your wife knows she should choose furnishings. She knows she should exercise, she knows she should work on her nutrition, and she knows she needs to work on her morning routine...in fact, these are the things she probably can't stop thinking and ruminating about. She's already highly focused on her shortcomings.
She likely doesn't need you to help her with morning motivation. She knows she lacks this.
Instead, try reminding her of the things she's probably forgotten. Like her resilience, her potential, and HER ability to make things right again.
Not only will this help her, but it will take tons of pressure off you.
Imagine a couple and they have their periodic financial issues, he mentions that brand vegetables can cost .50 -1.00 more per can. Turns out he also has a porn addiction for which he's getting therapy, and his wife is told to be supportive and empathetic. She sees his credit card bill and a charge for $596.00 to look at say Swedish women playing golf, and that mirrors similar charges over the last several months. How does she avoid saying, why don't you stop doing that.
Sometimes we get tough choices in life, move don't move, take a new job that pays more but could have risk, intervene if you don't like your son's girlfriend. But there are sometimes clear and obvious choices, and if your spouse is making herself miserable not to mention you and the family, how do you not say something.
Please tell me how this goes. I have a demanding job and work 60-65 hours a week, spend about 20-25 doing household work and maybe another 20 arranging for appointments, assisting with her therapy, my own, etc. So I take lets say 15-20 minutes. Honey, I'm sorry you're not feeling good. You've been a good mother, you should forgive yourself it's not helping to keep focus on this. It's too late, the focus is over me I have pain all over. Okay I understand its hard.
Let's try to do with the therapist says. There's two parts, mental and physical, we can work on doing the things that will help your perception and also then things physically. I can make an appt for you to see your internist. Its not going to help she replies, its too late, I waited too long.
If I'm busy supporting my wife and basically doing all the housework, how much time can I spend endlessly repeating things that accomplish little or nothing.