Wow just wow smh. I too suffer from MDD/GAD and if my husband talked/acted/felt how you are I'd run out the door myself. Depression is a b***h and yes it's hard af for the spouse to go through it, however you did say for better or worse and from your posts it sounds like you don't want anymore of the worse. Since you say you're the "mom" and you feel/think she's not doing her part why are you still there? Get out of it; go to court get joint custody and move on so you won't have to deal with the "zombie" and "being held back by a grown ass teen." After all as you say since "you're a drop dead gorgeous guy with a job" so you should have no problem snagging someone else, oh but make sure you get full disclosure on the first date to find out if she has any kind of mental illness. Lawd good luck with that as we're not "perfect" people walking the earth.

One word: Karma

The issue I see here is that you getting mad at her and complaining and being resentful will not help your marriage, if you even want to save it at this point. Have compassion for your wife. Deep down, some part of you loves her, or you wouldn't have married her. She is the mother of your children. She is mentally ill. What if you got into a terrible accident and lost your legs and had to be in bed or a wheelchair all day for the rest of your life. Would you want her to complain that you're not cleaning the house, or taking care of the kids, etc? And no one would blink an eye at you not helping because people still see physical illness/injury as more valid than mental illness, which is just as debilitating for some people. If you don't like that the house is a mess, stop complaining to strangers on the internet and help pick up. And you fathered those kids, they are 50% yours, so you can help with them too. Sorry, this may come off as mean and rude but I am just in awe of someone being so resentful over someone's mental illness - someone that they love and chose as their life partner, in SICKNESS or in health. I'm not saying you need to wait on her hand and foot, and I'm not saying she doesn't need legitimate help, such as counseling, or that she should do absolutely nothing and not help out around the house or with the kids. But what I'm saying is, if something bothers you so much, you could just do it yourself, or offer to help with it. Instead of saying, "You do nothing all day and our house is a mess," why not say, "It looks like we've got a lot of work to do, maybe we can tackle this together. How about I start in the kitchen, and you do the living room?" Depressed people are more likely to do something if they know you are coming from a place of love and you are willing to help. If you tell a depressed person who can barely fathom how they will get through another day even just laying in bed that they need to clean an entire house, they will get overwhelmed and not do anything. If you had a broken leg and were wheelchair bound or hopping around on crutches and someone told you to clean an entire house, you probably would be overwhelmed and not very thrilled about figuring out how to do that. You can learn and be supportive, just like every other husband out there who has a wife with mental illness. Stop being so selfish and show compassion for your wife who is so obviously struggling and in need of your love, patience and understanding. If you're not willing to do that, then stop leading her on and end the relationship so that she can be with someone who will treat her with more compassion and love her the way she needs to be loved.

Wow you're in quite a situation. Exercise releases chemicals that can lift your mood, increase your energy and improve your sleep. 1 Timothy 4:8. Please muster up the energy to give it a try.

I don't think the problem is depression. To be quite honest, I don't. You OP, you sound pretty down. But the wife? If she's like you say, then it's not depression. It's something else.

If you have been in a bad power imbalance for 10 yrs it may seem like there's no solution to it that can allow you to keep your integrity. I put it to you that you don't know everything under the sun. You need to open your mind and learn more. If you don't want to leave the marriage, you need to learn how to function within it in such a way that things start to come right.

I'm sorry but you have to buy into the solution.

it's ok to vent tho. I know you're just venting but... you still need to get on board with an actual solution.

I used to be the guy that followed the 10 ways to cope with your partners depression for 6years. That is abuse of the 3rd degree and all for what? For her to just get worse? Its hard being there day in and day out for some one that shows you pure hate. But I carry on. Now turn around after being ignored or talked to like a child, then to be the one to smile when your ready to smile, have sex when your ready. Yall dont get it. The whole relationship revolves around that person. Then on top of that you do everything else around the house including everything Kids wise.

So I leave right and guess who isn't immune to her treatment? The babies/kids. So when she at mom house and mom has a melt down because she passed off depression to our 9 year old daughter who is very difficult due to moms life time condition. Or mom get new boyfriend and she tries so hard to hide her illness that she forgets about kids, let's another man hurt my babies.... Oh did I mention she has no family because her depression pushed them all away. Me and my fam has been her only support for years but in tern because we know the real her, she hates us. Only likes people who have no clue and people who never felt the affects of her low mood.

This happens on the news daily and mental illness is usually the cause and I will protect my babies from people who have foggy thoughts and react slow in danger. I love my kids more than yall feelings. Kids should always be first.

Some of you cant stomach the crap yall do and get mad when people try to talk to you about what you have done. I know your sick and cant help it but tell that to my heart, my mind, and soul which works perfectly fine that. To be with a depressed person you have go against your own self to do so. If I didn't have the kids to worry about we will both be in a better place but we do and they was all her idea.

I listened to her listening to the voices in her head. It has lead us down a dark path of moving all time and not having any friends. Im done listening to other people and there voices. Im staying to save my kids.

Oh BTW I am now a cyborg so I can spot ill people a mile away now. A long time will do that to. When yall can deal with your loved one problems then you can judge

Karma? for who? The man who went in the fire with her because of unconditional love that cant be shown? Right....

NJ you're finally getting to some truth and we can see the wife has something much more like schizophrenia, which is not a mood disorder at all, and is fifteen thousand miles away from depression, and nothing to do with depression, and requires an entirely different way of handling it.

As to you having to give a depressed person everything they want: who the heck told you that?

Do what is right and fair. That's what you do. What is right and fair at all times. You don't give people everything they want unless it is right and fair for them to want it - ie it's coincidence. You do what's fair always, and then you stand there and take whatever comes back at you for it. And then you continue to do what is right and fair and you make the unfair person move. You don't move for the unfair person. That's you training them.

If it's really that bad leave and take the kids too.

Hi I know that most be very difficult for you and your children. I think the important this to do is look at your life together through your wife's eyes. Being trapped in a loveless marriage is harder than I could ever understand, you may not even want to consider my view because of my age. Even though I am young it feels like I have been battling depression for over a lifetime. It may be hard to bring up but you need to talk to your wife and tell her how you feel. Yes it is hard having depression but the best thing to do is fake it till you make it because eventually it will bring some joy. It's better to be up and out then curled up in the dark even though it doesn't feel like that. She loves you and deserves to know the truth so talk to her gently though. I am sorry this must be frustrating I wish you the best.

I have had alot of crazy birches in my life. Most were bi-polar with BPD (borderline personality disorder) the world revolves around her. At least my wife. Always the victim, Lol. Depression can be that debilitating! I have been where she is. I quit dating, I find crazy women somehow. I'm now celebrant 3 years! Fuck them! I'm on anti-depressants. I could care less about sex! I'm set! Slap em' on the ass and seND them down the road to another SUCKER! LOL Ted