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Break up

ThatOne
ThatOne

So a few days ago my bf reiterated that the premise of our relationship being temporary hasn't changed since his family wants him to marry a muslim. I realized there's a maximum of 2 years left to date him and since I've been increasingly unhappy in this relationship I said that well then let's end it in summer. (2-3 months from now)


I can't stop thinking about the break up now so I talk to him about it and he looks desperate and I know he doesn't want me to leave but I can't take it anymore so I think I'll already break up with him in the course of this week. The only reason for me to stay together is that I am living at his place because of a work placement I'm doing. Parking is shitty at my place and it's also further away. But I don't want to use him for his apartment and I just can't stand that we are together but we are already losing each other. I just need a break and then after that we probably won't get back together. It was never meant to last but I guess we were joking so much about how we would have a future that I started taking it seriously and now I have to end it because I can't just let the break up hit me one day when I don't expect it and I'm not prepared for it. Now is a good time. Off to work. 

robotnik
robotnik
His family wants him to marry a muslim but what does he want? Or maybe you should become a muslim? I hate hearing about breakups but if something is not meant to be then there's nothing you can do about it. But, and speaking from my lack in this regard, you should fight tooth and nail for love. That way you won't have any regrets or something.
whatswrong19
whatswrong19
Love is very overrated, I get the attachment. I get the pain of losing something you very attached to. I don't get some other things with your situation, like why is his family making those decisions for him. My family ran the love of my life off, but it wasn't because I was allowing them to make my decisions for me, they were being extreme assholes to him and making horrible remarks about his family, that his family was going to hell because they catholic. This will pass, may pass like a kidney stone, but it is not a permenant hell, it's a temporary one.
Community LeaderWanderingVet
WanderingVet
You ARE using him for his apartment. This relationship is going nowhere.
ThatOne
ThatOne
Haha I like the kidney stone metaphor. We agreed in the beginning of the relationship that our time together has meaning as just that, time together. There's no need for a future, the relationship holds value in itself. I used to have nightmares and also often I couldn't sleep but since I started sleeping next to him, there's no problem. It's another one of those things that makes me rethink the break up. He knows it's coming. I know it's coming. It was always going to happen. Better decide it now than be hit by it later. We had a good (almost) year. I don't regret it. It's nice to go apart without big fights or disappointments. In another life perhaps it would have been us
rachelangelo
rachelangelo
Wow, this is difficult situation. It seems to me that no matter how much you care about him, he can't fully return the affections because he wants to please his family. I know you don't want to get your heart hurt, but the longer you stay, the more your heart is in the game. Break-ups are hard, but sometimes they are what is the healthiest options. Keeping you in my positive thoughts.