Hon,
I am 54.. so my perspective is quite different.. just have fun is what I say - it's summer.. if you can find a guy who makes you laugh, doesn't gross you out, and doesn't want a committed long-term relationship - go have yourself a good time...

Sometimes you don't need Mr. Right.. Mr. Right Now will do ...

just saying...

maybe you are too serious for this type of thing and want "the" one..
and if so, babe, you will have to be patient..do what you LOVE and hope to meet some guy there doing the same thing too.

I hope you have some girl pals to hang with in the meanwhile...

just try to have fun, k?

((BIG HUGS))

Sandi

I know I know ... I've heard it all before

and I'm not saying I want to jump into a committed long term relationship... but for once in my goddamn life it would be really nice to actually get some attention from a guy that I'M attracted to!

Ah, that DOES feel like shit! I think you have a valid complaint - these guys have been brought up to think that all the women should look like the centerfold models!

They forget what's between the ears is more important than what's between the hips and shoulders!

I went to the beach last week and felt horrible for some of the young girls...

It's like freaking high school X 100!

I'm sorry SBOOM - I know what a catch you would be - they are missing out on a really sexy, brilliant, funny, witty, and challenging woman...

Hugs to you, friend..

Sandi

Just keep playing naked. That will attract attention from men sooner or later.

Seriously, I have no advice, but I'm following this post with curiosity since I am now finding myself in the same situation.

Hugs.

It just frustrates the hell out of me because I DON'T think I'm unattractive... I genuinely believe that I am an attractive girl - inside and out.... but the longer this goes on, the longer I am stuck always being the single girl, the more and more I begin to wonder if maybe I've been fooling myself.....

You know.. even when my friends and I go out... I don't get hit on as much as they do... maybe it's because I don't send out the vibe... I dunno... or maybe it's simply that I am not as attractive as I like to think I am.

And one thing that has been driving me completely freaking insane recently is that I keep meeting these really awesome guys, who I get along with fabulously, who are fun to be around, who the conversation just flows with, and to top it off, fit the mould when it comes to my taste in men's physical appearance.... to get to the point where I think it's going to flourish into something only to find out they're not single!!

Taken guys seem to flock to me... they friggin love me... I make them laugh endlessly... they pay more attention to me than anyone else around... they make me think I've finally managed to snag something decent... and then the word "girlfriend" or "wife" comes out of their mouths and ya know what? It fucking hurts!

It's just not fair ya know? I have so much to offer.. I really do. Even in the case of a fun summer fling.....

But it just never seems to happen for me.

And it drives me to the brink sometimes... and I start thinking about the ONE guy who ever did take me seriously and consider me as more than just another one of the guys... and I miss him. But I don't miss him.... I just miss not being alone.

The wife / girlfriend issue is easily handled.. right from the first laugh...

If it's his laugh, ask "what did your wife, girlfriend or whatever think when you told her that one?"

If it's yours, ask 'and what would your wife, girlfriend or whatever think about you out in (wherever you are), laughing at pretty ladie's jokes?"

This should cover gay men too.

I don't know, SBOOM - maybe you are going to the wrong places, maybe you aren't flirty enough, or coming across as available..there is nothing wrong with being fussy - like you said - take care of it yourself!

Personally, I was never good at the flirty, sexy, dress up thing...girls these days amaze me - honest - the pushup bras, airbrush makeup, size 0 clothes - never mind the shorts half way up their butts - and they dance like professional hookers... I am getting too old or something.. LOL

I think you're right Sandi... when I go out I don't come across as "looking" ... but I prefer to just be myself.. and especially the whole bar thing - I am no good at it because it's just not me.. I wouldn't want to date a guy I met at a bar anyway lol but still.. you know what I mean.

I think it's just that I have an easy time getting along with guys, and when I'm talking to a guy I'm not acting "like a chick" ... I'm making him laugh and having the type of conversation he'd have with one of his buddies... grrr i dunno... i just wanna have my fun for a while! I'd say it's my turn already

It's all in your head. There is someone there for you; I know this. But, the only question that no one knows is when. It'll come though.

sorry boomer...................... I can talk to Dr. Phil about it if you would like.......... lol

Mr. Right is out there for you, Sweetie. You just haven't met him yet.

Be patient, and use this time that you're not involved to love yourself.

The more men you meet, the more you are finding out what you want and don't want from a relationship.

Take it easy on yourself.

Hugs & peace.

SBOOM-
I will agree with NOT planning on meeting a guy (who is likely to be at least partially drunk) in a bar and having a good long term relationship with him.

Find out what is happening in your area..music festivals... hot air balloon festivals, anything and everything.. go to some outdoor (and indoor) plays, comedians - you like comedy, right? Do the fun things in life.. have fun.. and then you'll be more likely to meet other fun guys..

Maybe you need to host more parties and have themes to them - hat parties, NEW FRIEND parties, pumpkin parties (halloween), go to an open mic and tell a joke (I double-dare you!!) - be creative, girl! I have faith in you, that you can do anything you set your mind to .. perhaps it's just that you're stuck in a rut...

hug to you- Sandi

Sounds like your dependent on men. Maybe take this time to get to know who you are. This will help you in relationships in the long run. I understand the lonlieness part, but you have to fulfill your life with things you like, exploration, and more important self acknowledment. Maybe your neediness is coming off as desperate to men.

Sounds like you been feeling like this for a long time. 1 boyfriend for all these years. High school wasnt so great huh? Gotta ask yourself questions and answer them truthfully. How long has your self esteem been low? What kinda upbringing did ya have? Find your truths and eventually be ok with them. Remember like attracts like. You attract awsome taken men because you attract them.To fix that you have to find out why you attract them. Sometimes we desire things that we subconciously feel we dont deserve. Oh i know, been there and seem to be back again .we are all born with the light of attraction within us, when we get outside of ourselves and get out of own way the light shines. Dont just sit back and accept the facts...be ok with them...and change em.

"...I'm not the type that will be with a guy just because he happens to be there when I happen to want a relationship..."

x

: )

I think it's great you aren't lowering your standards. I was too afraid of being alone and dated a whole lot of Mr. Wrongs. I finally met the guy I'm going to spend the rest of my life with and I'm 39. I wouldn't change my past because I learned so much from it, but I wouldn't do it again either.

Also, I was really hard to be with because of my mental problems, which I am working on a lot more intensely now.

You are still very young. It sounds like you're a good catch for the right guy too, so I think it's most likely that you will find each other. In the meanwhile, I agree with betteranyway, try to just have fun. Doing the things you enjoy doing you stand a better chance of meeting someone who enjoys the same things.