Hello Rey. You've been through such a lot, you have many struggles. And you're not getting support from your family that you need. Perhaps you could choose a family member that's the most sympathetic and really explain to them what you're going through. Have you been to the doctor about your depression? You need to help yourself too. As you are unemployed, are there any free advice services you could take advantage of, for housing/employment? I know this can depend on where you live. I self medicate with alcohol sometimes. One thing I know. It doesn't solve problems, just masks them temporarily, or gives you more problems to worry about. I hope you'll find the support you need. Take care.

Thank you first the advice. I have none but have found help with government funded counseling. I'm taking one day at a time thanks again

drinking is not the solution....too expensive...you could buy food with the booze money and life would continue....you do need help though....that sucks to be homeless...where are you living...?

I know drinking is not the solution but it's the only thing that dulls my pain. Right now I'm staying with my ex husband in the house I gave him. I'll be loving with parents in a few weeks.

My sons dad left me out of state with just my son and I with agoraphobia and social/ general anxiety. It was the hardest thing I ever done . The pain was unreal and a slap in the face but every time we deny that we are hurting we won't heal. We just push it back down. And it will resurface later. It's ok to feel pain it is just an experience but if suicidal please get help and have some one with you or some know be of support. What helped me was telling myself this is going to be the shittest year ever and to not put ANY expectations on your self. Your only job is to heal how ever long it may take. It's not just a state of mind it's hell but you can get through it((hugs))

Thank you so much for the reassuring comment. I try everyday to say good things about myself but I don't really believe it. I'm at the lowest time in my life and I find it so hard because I have none who understands what I'm going through.

Try to go to a group on You Tube if you can called the New Love Addiction, see if you get some help there. I've been through everything your talking about, and thought that just getting into another relationship was going to make me happy again, but it took me to look in the mirror to realize, I was holding myself down, it's a struggle dealing with depression, but without medication it's even worse, I just refuse to go on meds. Hope you find strength in this video, if you look for the group watch the video that helps you, there are so many. You can get out of this, just take the first step.

Hello there, so sorry to hear about your situation. I know it must be hard to be going through depression! I just heard a sermon at church yesterday about a person who had struggled through depression and anxieties for 30 years; trying out different things to try to get rid of it but failed. He had tried medicine, alcohol, self help books........ you name it, he had tried it. Eventually he realized that there's only one solution. Don't mean to be religious, but there's only one way to get rid of your depression and it's through giving God everything that's consuming you. You may not believe it, but it doesn't hurt to try. Tell God in your loneliness that you cannot handle what you have and give them all to Him; believing that He can help. I am sure you've cried many many times and there's no one to listen to you, but there's a true God who's willing to listen if you'd try. I know Focus On The Family has a counseling hotline and people there can pray with you and offer you support. 1-855-771-HELP. Again, even if you don't believe in God, it doesn't hurt to try reaching out to Him. He's there for you! Take care! I hope you feel better soon!

MendingAgain: thank you for the video advice I a going to watch tonight.. It does help me to know others understand what I'm going through!
Piano1962: I do believe in God and have prayed my heart out! I guess I have given up because if God loved me why would he let me go though such pain? I continue to pray but feel it's hopeless. Thank you for the advice and I will try in the family for support.

Rey33, please don't give up! I can understand your wanting to because of your pain. Sometimes it just feels like He's not there, doesn't it? As hard as it sounds, it is through the difficult times that we go through that we will eventually find Him. Sometimes it can take a while. I've been there! I hope you can persevere and I will pray for you as well. There's light at the end of the tunnel!!! I know from my own experience. Take care!

Piano1962 thank you for praying for me, I need it badly. I will soon be moving in with my parents and that's going to be just as difficult for me. They are older now and I enjoy being with them but I'm going to be that 45 year old that people talk about living in their parents basement! Everyday is a struggle stay alive and most days I don't want to. Thanks again for your encouraging words!

Rey33: You are welcome! Please don't worry about what other people talk about. It does not matter what they think. Yes, everyday is a struggle, but you can do it. One day at a time!!

My advice is get a job, any job! That will help with your finances, it will take your mind off things and provide hope for the future, if you like kids then get a job at a daycare as kids can brighten up your day from the silly things they do and their energy level might just give you a kick start! Or try working with the homeless shelters, helping people always helps people feel better. Once you have some cash go buy a used rv off criegslist and live out of that until you can afford something else.

Wow you sound like my sister! Someone who does understand that depression is a medical condition that you can't always help in your own. I appreciate your advice but because I have been searching for a job since August I have no hope in landing one.

Depression certainly is a state of mind. And alcohol makes it far worse. In fact, you may not even have depression. You may just have alcoholism. It would be worth going off the booze to see just how depressed you still are.

The worst thing about depression, the thing that keeps people depressed, is victimhood. Feeling they have no control over their life, or that their depression itself is outside their control. It's not. it's a tap you can turn on and off. it's a puddle you can step in or avoid. it's a well you can fall down, and climb back out of. It's just terrain. Feelings are just another form of terrain. You can sit down somewhere and be stuck there for as long as it takes you to get back up and move on.

Depression is something you have to dig your way out of, even though you're down and not functioning well at the time. Why? Because nobody else is going to save you.

Not a soul.

It's you or nobody.

So start digging.