I hear ya ! I'm from a small town as well and know exaclty what you mean. I've been going through some depression anxiety for the past 3 months and am down to 1 or 2 friends now. I've gone through a break up and have moved back to my hometown. Most everyone knows my situation...it being a small town and so I keep a low profile. Very sad and alone right now.

join the club i am alone too no friends a small town where every one knows everyone or thier related. im sorry you ben hurt so many times . i have too if that helps i share your pain.

I know how you feel. People I thought were my friends and then I realize they are not. It really hurts. Hugs.

Gosh I get this so bad since we moved I have no one well not in real time anyhow thank god I have YOU guys and DS.

My last BFF passed a few years ago.
I am also a recluse and homebound. So not much opportunity to make friends.
Besides my caregiver and my landlords there is no one.
Tho I choose my isolated life I miss having a buddy to share life & hugs with.
And I lost my little Lap Warmer Bubba 2 years ago too.
I have my birds but they just Aren 't into Teddy bear hugs!

Oh....and when I feel cold? From weather or fear there 's no one to hold onto me and warm me enough so I stop shaking.
I can 't afford a nice warm Hoodie....I 've been searching for a week now.
In size 4x they cost too much.
So I sit and shiver and feel lonely up here on my hill.

"Just a fool on a hill....see the sun going down...."

"don't go anywhere other than work, grocery store & my volunteer job."

That's three more places than I ever go. :-(

I'm a complete recluse. Part of it is that I'm an introvert and I like solitude, but even I reach a limit of that.

But then social anxiety, fatigue and depression keep me from getting out and meeting people. I pretty much have no friends anymore, as the ones I had from when I was working have drifted away.

My husband is a complete extrovert, so sometimes it's difficult. He would like to have people over, I think, but we never do.

Right now he's at party we were both invited to, but I backed out of. It's the second social event I've cancelled on this week. I feel guilty and ashamed for doing that ... like, why can't I be normal? I feel bad that I let people down, and isolating myself to this degree isn't healthy.

I don't have a lot of friends either. Want to be my friend?

Redclare, I would love to be your friend! :) Thanks everyone, it does help knowing I can post on here & get support. God Bless you all!

Etherize, I also dont go to social events with my husband. I have missed alot of weddings, funerals (although that is hardly a social event), parties,etc..I just cant seem to even make myself want to go. Jackfish01, Im sad for you to ((hugs))

Well, I'm wondering if women are meaner to each other in small towns. That would make anyone a recluse. I don't think I would "enjoy that sort of thing" at any age. It's a bit cruel to spend all your time trying to spread bad things about people.

In big cities, I think that there might be more room for error. No one is perfect.....

Come to think of it, maybe you just need confidence in yourself. Even if people don't like you or think you're different, what difference does that make for you? It doesn't sound like you're missing out of much in the first place if people are going to be so thoughtless and hard nosed.

thanks gordos4, for me I just don't fit in with all the couples at age 45 there is only myself and one other single male close to my age here. He's divorced as well but has his kids on weekends. Me I have no one. There is a hockey game in town tonight but most will be upstairs watching the game if i want to be with anyone I know, but know that I can not or should not be drinking the way I feel so I sit home. Missing my ex and her daughter so much right now. I did the whole "I'm so lonely with out email and txts until finally said no more contact ...it's not healthy for us/you" So in the past 3 months I've done nothing but read self help books, think I only slept 2 or 3 hours last night.... just keeps getting worse and worse.

I wonder if depression causes us to live within or just life's bumps and tornadoes?
I 've noted there are a number of us who are living a life within.
Not only ourselves but within the walls of our homes.
I go out maybe 2 x a year....having more than one visitor makes me anxious.
I have a tendency to turn off my phone.
I have to know, like and understand someone really well before I call them friend.
Sometimes I can just recognize a kindred soul....
But not going anywhere.....I don 't meet that many people.
When my BFF passed I gave it up.
I 've only had 2 really close female friends in my life....but a lot of close male friends. Friendships that last decades.
Tho they are gone....
I hope I have made some friends here.
Some of you I just seem to 'click ' with!

cypressmoon, I think you are right, women are meaner in small towns. Its easier for them to be big fish in such a small pond. It's all about how you look, the clothes you wear, having your nails done, belonging to the right clique. I am pretty down to earth & try to be humble, so I just dont fit in. I also HATE to shop, so my clothes are pretty plain/conservative. My husband has tons of friends, its easier for him, & men are different. They dont play the games women do. It's hard for him because I am such a recluse, & he likes to socialize & have a good time.
The town where is live is small, but it is also the corporate headquarters for a major outdoor sporting goods company. There are lots of rich, snobby women. Its too much effort to be friends with them, they are high maintainence, & Im not.
Jackfish, I wish I knew the answer for us all, but at least we can talk to each other here, online friends are great to!

Boy it sure is good. I know everyone in town and everyone knows me. I'm just so tired of being a third wheel. I own a seasonal business that doesn't allow or give me the time to socialize in the summer and now winter has come and I basically hibernate alone. This will be my second winter back here...God I hate it.
My ex girlfriend of three years told me that I always wanted to be back here and didn't like the city. Yes it took me a while to get used to but I was so happy to be out of here. I sold my cabin/home to move away together. Now I am back and it sucks. Keep thinking that unless I move back to the city I will die a lonely man and nothing saying it will be different in the city.... I have become quite shy and reserve as of late. Gordos4 I'll be here every nite that you or anyone else needs to talk...that's for. My heart already has slowed just in the time I've been here....just noticed that it's not pounding away....wow. Thanks